but I'm not gay

Chapter 1

Ugh.

January has got to be the suckiest month out of all 12. It's cold, but you cant even go sledding or build a snowman because all the snow is black and sloshy. There's no upcoming holiday to be excited for, and the month is full of broken resolutions and regret.

I don't think I've ever enjoyed a January my whole life.

You know how some parents name their kids after months? Like April, June, or May?

That's because people LIKE those months. If some poor kid was named January, he'd probably have no friends, because nobody gives a shit about January.

These are the things I think about at 3 a.m.

Luckily, I don't have to keep these thoughts to myself.

Rolling over on my side, I wrap my arm around the massive ball of cuddly heat by my side.

"Mmfph..."

Awww, lil grumpy cuddle bear is annoyed. Serves him right!

"Shut up Noah, you know you love me!"

He grunts, and, a tad bit more aggressively than I'd like, shoves me off of him.

I frown internally.

It's been like this recently.
Noah's been really distant, and I'm not sure why.

Well, that's not true.
I DO know why, but I wish that I didn't.

"Get off me, you big ol lesbo."

I nervously laugh, but inside that hurts.
My boyfriend has been making a lot of gay jokes about me recently.

He caught me watching Orange Is The New Black and automatically guessed I was gay.

Yeah, duh. Liking good TV is totally something only lesbians do, right?

Whatever. Since I'm already up, I decide to get a head start on my school routine.
I pull on some joggers and throw on a stray flannel I found on the floor.

"Told you. Fuckin' lesbian."
"Shut the hell up Noah."
"Didn't they always say lesbians are cold-hearted bitches?"
"Only gay guys say that."
"Haha, hilarious."

Walking into the bathroom I quickly throw my hair up into a bun. No sense in washing it, I have gym today anyway.
Concealing my greasy roots as best as I can, I loop my hair around and tie it in place.

I wash my face and quickly brush my eyebrows and swipe on some mascara.
Like I said, I have gym today.

I feel cute, despite my messy hair, so I snap a quick selfie and post it on Instagram.

Hey, it's 2016, let a girl post a selfie.

Immediately Pumpkin pops up in my comments section.

"😍😍😍😍"

I blush to myself.

Pumpkin is one of my new friends in college. We have Agriculture class together. Pumpkin isn't her real name, by the way. I wasn't completely paying attention during roll call on the first day, but I remember her asking the teacher to address her by Pumpkin instead.
Not knowing her real name doesn't really bother me that much. I call her Pumpkin and she seems to like that.

"thanks babe 😋❤️"

"FaceTime me, princess!! 👑💕"

I snicker a bit too loudly, and I hear Noah shuffle in bed.

I close the bathroom door, and call her on FaceTime.
Immediately, she picks up.

I'm greeted by her long, purple hair, scattered freckles, and bright amber eyes.

"Good morning gorgeous!"
"Hey Pumpkin! What's got you up so early?"
She seems to glow, hearing me say her name.
"Oh, you know...a bit of a wake and bake."
Looking closely, I see she's sitting next to her open window.
"Ooohh, Pumpkiiiiin, you're gonna get in troublleeee"
"Bite me."
She sticks her tongue out at me.
"Such a child."
"You know you love me."
Woah, mini flashback to me and Noah ten minutes ago.
Only this time, I'm on the receiving end of the love...
It feels really nice...
"Yoo-hoo! Indigo? You there babe?"
Hearing my name, I snap back to reality.
"Yup! So, are you excited for Agriculture class today??"
"Only because I get to see you. What can they teach me about plants that I don't already know?"
She blows out a wispy band of smoke.
"Haha, clever."
"Who, me?"
We both giggle.
It feels good to laugh with someone, instead of being the one laughed AT.

"Well gorgeous, its been a blast, but ya girl has gotta go. 8 a.m classes are so fun, am I right?"

I'm a bit sad that she's leaving, but remembering that I'll see her in Agriculture makes me happy.

"Ok, Pumpkin. See you soon!"
"Bye bye!"

I look at my screen.

"FaceTime: ended"

Sadly so.

I turn to look in the mirror again.
My cheeks are red from blushing.

But not because I think Pumpkin is cute or whatever.
It's just nice to have someone that cares about you.

I shove my thoughts in the back of my head, and pick up my backpack in Noah's room.
I plant a kiss on his cheek.

"See you later, babe."

He turns around and grabs me, one hand on my waist, the other on my ass, and pulls me into a heated kiss.

"See ya at lunch Indigo."

I turn to walk out the door.

I hear Noah shout from his room.

"LATER, LESBO!"