Akutagawa Ryūnosuke x Reader: More Than Friends

Chapter 4: Grief

CHAPTER FOUUUUUR!!! So close to the end!!!
This part is using Akutagawa's POV.
Well, enjoy!

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7 Years.
That's how long I've been living with (Y/N).
We went through a lot together.
But what was hard for us, is Ichito's death.

Ichito didn't like me by one bit, but he never do anything to me. Instead, he was being kind to me. Not because (Y/N) told him to do so. I also didn't know why.

Last year was really hard for the 2 of us, especially (Y/N). Ichito died from cancer. He never smoked, so we didn't know why. And the doctor refused to enlighten us. His last word kept ringing in my ears; "whatever happens... protect... (Y/N)..."

And just like that, he left the world.

(Y/N) couldn't stop crying. She kept screaming Ichito's name, begging him to come back, to not leave her. I had to held her in my arms until she fell asleep. There was one time where she cried so long, she cried blood.

Yet again, my heart hurts when she cried. After 7 years, i still didn't know what this feeling is. And i don't want to tell (Y/N), i already made her worried with my sickness. So i decided to stay quiet. (that's not a sickness, Akutagawa =_=)

Like after her family's death, (Y/N) tried to hide her sadness and pain behind a fake smile. Before i came into her life, Ichito was the only person she had left.

Also, ever since she brought me to her school, her friends started to avoid her. I know why. It was because i was by her side. i heard one of her friend whispered; "she's befriending with a demon! She's been cursed!"

I was so angry, i tried to punch the kid that whispered. But (Y/N) hold me off. She said; "It's fine, Aku-nii" but i know it's not fine. Every night, she would cry until she fell asleep. Eventually, she stopped going to school and do homeschooling, while i get bullied in the school.

~Flashback~

"I'm home..." "welcome back, Aku-- Aku-nii?! What happened?!" (Y/N) ran towards me, looking worried. Of course she was worried. I had bruises and my lip had a cut. "...i was beaten up again" "by who?!" She asked again, holding my shoulder.

"...by the twins'... minions" i said lowly. (Y/N)'s eyes grew wide. "Those girls!--" then the door's bell ring. "(Y/N)! It's Sachiko!" "Speak of the devil, she's here" (Y/N) said in a angry voice. "Come in, Sachiko" and so the door opened.

The girl Sachiko, and another girl behind her, that used to be (Y/N)'s best friends came in. "(Y/N)! We missed you soo much!" The long, black haired girl wearing white dress (corpse party, anyone?) opened her arms and walked towards (Y/N), trying to hug her.

But (Y/N) stepped back. "Go straight to the point" she said coldly. "What do you want, Sachiko?" "Aaw, c'mon, (Y/N)!" Another girl with similar appearance with Sachiko, but wearing red ress, came up behind Sachiko. "Why're you being so cold towards us?" She said in a sad, but fake, tone.

"Nice to see you too, Sachiho (no, she wasn't in the corpse party)" she said coldly. "We're here to see how Akutagawa is doing. I heard he got beaten up pretty bad" Sachiko said. "Oh, hello, Akutagawa-san! How're you?" The other girl said, waving towards me. But i stayed quiet.

"Don't even lie" (Y/N) said. "I know you ordered your... minions, to beat him up" she said coldy. "Aaw, boo hoo hoo! The demon is a scaredy cat! How amusing! I thought you were older than (Y/N), Akutagawa!" Sachiko said, mocking me. Then the twins laughed. I've had enough. I was about to walk over to her and punch her. But (Y/N) blocked me.

"Leave. Now" (Y/N) said, and added; "and don't ever come back" "why should we?" Sachiho asked, or rather challenged (Y/N). I swear, this girls has guts. (Y/N) raised her hand to the twins' direction, and said; "Because if you even put 1 step inside my house, red will be the last thing you see" as Rashomon appeared behind her.

The twins then screamed in terror, and ran out the door. (Y/N) lowered her hand, and her Rashomon dissapeared. "(Y/N)... i'm sorry for all of this..." i hang my head down, looking at the floor. She walked towards me, and put her hand on my shoulder, saying; "it's fine, Aku-nii. Let's take a look at those bruises, 'kay?"

~Flashback Ends~

Ever since then, i started homeschooling with (Y/N). And ever since then, i became a cold, emotionless person. 'Everything is my fault...' of course, i take the blame. Her life was so perfect before i joined her life. 'If only i--'

My thought was cut off when i suddenly heard (Y/N) shouted; "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!" And a door slammed shut. I ran towards the voice, which came from (Y/N)'s room. I was about to go in, when i heard her sobbing hardly.

"I'M SICK OF THIS LIVE! WHY CAN'T GOD END IT SOONER?!" My eyes widened upon hearing what she said. So i decided to go in. (Y/N) was lying down on the bed, her face burried inside her pillow. "(Y/N)..." i walked towards her and sit beside her, and stroke her hair gently.

"Aku-nii..." she said between her sobbing. "What is it?" I said, still stroking her hair. "I'm so tired..." she said lowly. I was about to say something, but she cut me off with; "I'M SO TIRED OF THIS LIVE!" I gasped. She's never this frustated before.

"I'M TIRED, AND SICK OF FAKING MY SMILE! I'M SO TIRED OF LYING TO PEOPLE, SAYING THAT I'M OKAY! I'M NOT! I'M HURT! I WISH I COULD JUST DIE AND LEAVE EVERYTHING!"
She said as she repeatedly punch her pillow. This time her words pierced my heart. 'How can she say such a thing?'

"I hate this, Aku-nii... i want to end my misery... but i lack the courage... I'M SO TIRED BUT I CAN'T EVEN END MY LIVE! I'M PATHETIC! ...i wish i could be like you... brave, not scared of death..." she said as she turned around, her back facing the bed. She covered her eyes with her hand.

"EVERYONE I LOVED WAS TAKEN AWAY! MY FRIENDS LEFT ME! THE LAST FAMILY I HAVE LEFT ME! YET I'M STILL HERE! WHY?! WHY AM I STILL HERE?! NOBODY EVER NEED ME!" She yelled again. "I'm dying, Aku-nii..."

Hearing this, my heart is filled with guilt. 'Everything is my fault...' i grabbed her shoulder, and pulled her up to my embrace. "...Aku-nii?" (Y/N) was confused. "(Y/N)... please... don't say such things... i'm still here, and i still need you..."

"Aku-nii... i'm sorry... I've always been a burden to you..." she said as she hugged me. "That's what i always said to myself..." i said. "What is?" "That I'm tired with my life... that i should leave this world..." i could hear (Y/N) gasped after what i said.

"But then, you came into my life... you gave me a reason to live... but when i stepped into your life, it was ruined. I'm the burden..." i said as i hugged her tighter. "Please, (Y/N), keep living... keep living, even if the world is against you... because whatever happens, I'll always be with you."

(Y/N) hugged me tighter. "Thank you, Aku-nii... thank you..." she said as she slowly fell asleep in my embrace. I laid her down carefully. I grabbed her hand, and squeeze it gently. "I'm sorry, (Y/N)..." i let go of her hand, and took a paper and pen. I started to write down. Then i left it.

I went to my room, and packed up. I waited untill midnight. Once it's midnight, i carried my bag, and left the house. I looked back once more, mumbling; "farewell, (Y/N)" quetly.

I kept walking, until i arrived at a certain place. A man stood infront of me. "What do you want, boy?" He asked. I stayed silent, and took a letter out from my pocket. I gave it to him, and the man took it, confused. After he reads it, his eyes widen. "So you're..." "...yes"

"I'm recruited by the Mafia, and i want to join"

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Alas, chapter 4 has ended.
1 more chapter to go...
Hope i can finish it today.
5 chapters, wrote in a day
Okay...

Wish me luck!