law & order one shots

Rafael Barba

You saw his mouth shut and your whole body clenched, you couldn't tell if you were more relieved or hurt. He tugged off his tie and threw it on the ground, seeming like nothing but it meant so much. He'd known that you'd just cleaned the house; he always did, and for him to just drop his things was completely out of character for Rafael. It was downright disrespectful.

He pulled down a shot glass and a bottle of scotch, making his way to his bedroom to drown himself in his regrets. He couldn't figure out where he had gone wrong, why you didn't love him anymore.

...

When Rafael woke up the next morning, he was hungover. His heart was already broken, bit it immediately shattered once again when he saw you curled up on the couch, sprawled out, but barely hanging off the sides.

He marched over and pressed a quick, soft kiss to your forehead, pressing his eyes closed and willing himself not to cry, that this wasn't the last time he would see you. He tried so hard to convince himself that you would be here when getting came home, but he wasn't sure.

...

When he came home again the day he heard your laughs from the other side of the door, slightly tearful but becoming cheery none the less.

"Thanks, Danny, you always managed to make me feel better." You had told him what was going on, and he had given you a shoulder to cry on through the phone. He was the best.

What you didn't know was, the name of another man he had never met broke him heart all over again. He was tearing you down and the man you must've been cheating on him with was cheering you up. He felt like the worst boyfriend on the planet. He immediately stalked to his room, not bothering to even look in your direction.

...

Days went by like this, now you were being full on ignored by Rafael. You never moved from the couch and you had hardly eaten, but he didn't seem to notice and that always made you cry a little more than you obviously had, by all the used up tissues everywhere.

Finally you had enough, and climbed into the bed that both you and Rafael shared, curling up by his pillow and breathing in his scent. You missed him, and he would have to pry himself from your cold, dead hands if he wanted to leave you.

The thought made you slightly satisfied, before the door opened. You heard Rafael's movements suddenly halt as he realized you weren't in your usual spot. He now slumped to the bedroom, thinking that you were gone and that he would most likely never see you again, until you were laying in his bed, right before him. Tears stained his navy blue pillows and you shook, obviously cold.

"Oh, cariño..." His hand came down gently on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze, moving to the bed and pulling you to his lap. He was secretly terrified to ask what was wrong, thinking that you'd tell him you were leaving him, or Danny had broken your heart. But he somehow felt the need to console you.

"What's wrong, hmm?" His hands rubbed your back softly, pressing you closer into him. He breathed in the sweet smell of your shampoo, he thought he'd never be able to smell again.

"Rafi.. why don't you love me anymore?" Your tear-filled voice drilled a hole through his heart.

"What are you talking about? Of course I love you, I love you more than anything." His words just caused you to cry even harder.

"Why have you been ignoring me? Why won't you look at me, or talk to me, Rafael?" Your voice cracked and Rafael almost felt as though he could cry himself, not being able to handle that you were upset. It didn't add up to him.

"No, I would say you're the one who doesn't love me anymore, mi reina." He sniffles and chuckled a little to himself, feeling pathetic. Who was he right now? Rafael Barba doesn't cry.

"What the hell does that mean?" You had pushed off him by now and were looking him painfully in the eyes, looking like death himself.

"It means that I know about Danny. I know that you don't love me anymore, that's... perfectly okay. You don't have to spare my feelings anymore." He said it so simply, but it was so full of sadness, so deep, and you couldn't believe you ears. You almost wanted to laugh but you just couldn't, you couldn't feel anything but overwhelmed at what you should feel.

"Danny?! Danny is my fucking friend, Rafael, from high school! For God's sakes, I would never cheat on you!" Your tears were flowing again and you tangled a hand in your hair, still so surprised. You were falling apart and he seemed to be putting himself back together in front of you, suddenly feeling relieved and then in a split second, upset again.

"Oh, cariño... Oh, I'm so sorry, I-I didn't..." An ashamed look had risen to his face, and he wanted nothing more than to make it up to you. "I will do anything, please forgive me." His hand reached up to stroke your cheek, wiping your tears away and pulling you in close to him, letting you cry against his chest, against his nicest white button-up.

"I love you, baby. I love you so much, I wouldn't trade you for the world." He whispered soft things in your ear, taking in your silence and knowing that it meant you would never leave.