The Intern/ The Enigma (one-shot)

C O L E T T E

The thing about pain, is that it demands to be felt...

At first all I thought about was my freedom and my revenge. I wanted to prove to everybody that I wasn't that scared, innocent little kitten people thought I was. I wanted all those who looked down on me to feel pain, those who made fun of me and those who shunned me; because of something I had no control over. I knew that they would never endure the emotional torment I went through, so I decided to not only emotionally torment them but physically too.

The worst part of this is that I know what I'm currently doing and what I did in the past is wrong, yet I was so blinded by my hatred and need for revenge; that I didn't care who I hurt directly or who was affected in the long run.

I hurt Louis by using his greatest weakness against him; love, I knew that I loved him, but I was too hard headed to admit it to myself. When I found out about that cursed bet, all sense and reason I had at that moment was gone. My hatred grew to the point where it blinded me from everything. I was power hungry. My sole purpose at that moment was to hurt Louis as much as he hurt me by agreeing to that damned bet and hiding it from me when he realised his true feelings.

I swallowed my pride a long time ago. I accepted that I loved Louis, but I was too late. I wallowed in my self-pity for months. I regretted hurting Louis so much, but; it is what it is and it was too late to fix anything. I knew that nothing could ever compensate for the hurt I caused Louis, so when Jacob was born, I knew I couldn't be his mother. I couldn't give him the amount of affection and love that Louis could offer him. I love him, but it would never suffice. I knew he would have a good life with Louis, he didn't need me. Jake was going to grow up with the affection, the love and the attention that both of us wished for as children. He is going to grow up with everything he will ever need.

I was never going to look back. I was going to stay in the shadows and make sure that they were always safe. They didn't need me and my baggage to haunt their lives any longer, I just had to make sure they stayed safe. Unfortunately not everybody gets what they whole-heartedly desire.

I have to go after Louis. He wants him. For what? I haven't a clue. All I know is that the moment I shot Louis at that party, I never wanted to interrupt his life again. He had his share of pain and he got what was coming for him. I wouldn't go back and add to that. We came to him looking for freedom, but we got the complete opposite. We're trapped here; made to stay because he wanted to use us. We're his little pawns. He could kill us in an instant if we don't go ahead with his orders. Now I only have two weeks to get Louis to him, or the people who are dear to me; will have their fate sealed in the blink of an eye...

I have to do what is best for my son. He may not know me, but I need to protect him. No matter how much hatred I may hold for Louis, I hope he doesn't suffer too much in the process. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if he is hurt even half of how I hurt him. I need to keep my child safe, not only for myself; but for Louis. If he decides to kill Louis, then he needs to know that his son will be protected. No matter what, nothing and no one will hurt Jake. Whatever happens, I will try my best to get them out of this and I will keep them safe. They need me to watch over them and I will be there regardless of the amount of hatred there may between Louis and I.
That, is my promise.

(A/N: I really loved Colette before she went batshit crazy, so I decided to make her approach to everything a little more subtle; her reasons for some of the things she did and what I hope is not all her fault. I would like to think that she isn't going after Louis this time on her own accord so I decided to use some ideas from chapter 6 were "he" is mentioned. I also wanted to make her seem less heartless than she's made out to be, by showing that she does love her son and that she needs him safe. I really had fun writing this, even though it's not very good. I would like to thank the author of "The Intern" and "The Enigma" [@-bruised] for the opportunity of trying out my hand at writing.)