Love Is Not Just A Verb (A Kendrick Lamar Story)

Chapter 11

Saturday, October 19, 2002 ~ 3:45am

Kendrick's POV

    I unlocked the door as quietly as possible and shut the door behind me, making sure I didn't make a sound. I snuck up to my room to get my pajamas. Fortunately, La'quanda was asleep and wearing clothes. I tiptoed to my closet, hoping not to wake her. As I grabbed my clothes, I heard a sleepy voice say, "Kenny?"

    I turned around and watched La'quanda slowly sit up in my bed. "Yes, La'quanda?" I replied.

    "Where'd you go?" she asked, stretching and yawning.

    "A party." I turned back around and started changing.

    "Roscoe's party?"

    "Yup," I said as I put my shirt on.

    "Oh," she said. She seemed surprised. She yawned again and then said, "Since when did you like to party with them niggas?"

    "I was forced to go." I lied. I could've easily told Yn that I wasn't going. That's a lie, too. I put on my pants and walked over to the other side of the room to get a pillow and a blanket.

    "By?" she asked, smirking.

    "Yn," I said as I made my way to the door.

    "Kenny, wait!" she said. I turned around. She had a stank look on her face. "Come here." I walked over, put the blanket and pillow down and sat on the bed.

    "What?"

    "Wh..." She hesistated for a second. "Who's Yn?"

    "A friend," I said, calmly.

    "A friend..." she said, suspiciously. "And why does your friend have such a girly name?" She said, crossing her arms. She raised her right eyebrow, awaiting an answer.

    "Because she's a girl?" I said. Is this b*tch for real? I thought. She gasped at my remark. Confused as hell, I stood up and asked, "Why you buggin'?"

    "What the f*ck do you think you're doing running around with these hoes, Kendrick?"

    "Hoes?!" I asked. "I make friends with one girl and now I'm a pimp? What the f*ck is up with your logic?"

    "Yeah, but--"

    I cut her off. "And Yn ain't no hoe, La'quanda. Only person you should be calling a hoe is yourself. Sleeping with the whole crew like you did. And we ain't even together, so why the f*ck do you care?"

    "How did you know about th--"

    "You're being so childish, right now. Just mind your own got damn business and stop worrying about who I'm hanging out with. You've already done enough between me and Marcus; I don't need you to ruin my relationship with Yn."

    At this point, La'quanda was in tears. "But, Kenny!" she yelled.

    "Don't 'but, Kenny' me!" She sat there looking miserable, holding her face as she cried. I realized how much I hurt her and felt terrible for it. I sat down beside her and put my arm around her. Looking into space, I said to her, softly, "Look, La'quanda. I don't want you to think that just because I don't like you the way you want me to, we can't be friends."

    "But I don't want you as a friend," she said, softly. "I love you." She placed her head on my neck and fidgeted around to get comfortable.

    "We're 15 motherf*cking years old. How the hell do you know what love is?"