if i believe you ; frerard

2 - for you are so beautiful

song: summer skin by death cab for cutie
"and we had left our love in our summer skin"  

what sarah said by death cab for cutie

"and it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time"

-

gerard walked with steady steps and cold breaths as he made his way to the bay. with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his black rain coat, he hurried so he wouldn't miss the rain when it fell; he needed this to be perfect.

finally, he arrived and took his hands out of his pockets while sitting down on the dock with his feet hanging off the edge. he searched in his oversized jacket for something and pulled out a black leather book he used as his sketchbook.

it was a cold fall day and his breath came out in white puffs like small clouds forming infront of his face before fading into the air. it was cloudy and the sky was so full of drops it was about to drop them all and he knew he hadn't much time to do what he needed if he wanted it to be as planned.

he took out a black ballpoint pen and began writing words that flowed from his mind onto the page, holding some kind of meaning he doesn't know but won't find out soon enough as the water was so grey, mirroring the sky.

in the midst of all his writing he didn't notice when the first raindrop fell. he tore the page as the third one fell onto it and made a small circle before absorbing into the next pages.

he took off his shoes and folded his paper into a rectangle, tucking it into the toe of his sneakers so it won't get wet and placed them at the end of the dock.

he looked up at the sky and held out his hand in an attempt to catch a drop--but failed. he sighed and looked out onto the water below him.

he close his eyes and let himself fall forward, his eyes never opening but instead slowly turning darker and darker and his lungs started to burn. his hair flowed above him, the long strands reaching upward. he hadn't felt the cold, sandy, rocky bottom when he hit it slowly.

he was already gone.

-

frank got up and rubbed his eyes before getting up and seeing the parfait he had made gerard hadn't  even been touched. he sighed sadly and threw away the sticky note he stuck to it with the name 'gerard :)' written in blue pencil with a poorly drawn smiley face next to it.

"gerard?" he called, walking down the brown carpetted hallway to their room. he found it open but a picture of the bay painted in watercolor with a grey sky and rain, a few bubbles at the surface of the gray water right below the dock. he was picking it up and studying it, then quickly dropping it and running out to the kitchen, grabbing his keys, and starting the car, he drove to the bay.

leaving the car running as he was running out to the dock barefoot he saw gerard's shoes. he looked at them as he jumped past them and dove into the water.

it was cold.

okay, understatement--it was really, really fucking cold. but none of that mattered to them and he tried to find gerard. he swam and swam and swam, but couldn't find him. he was quickly running out of breath and he almost passed out when he broke through the surface, but didn't. he was too overwhelmed. he cried pathetically and sobbed, treading water in the harsh temperature and calling gerard's name countlessly.

-

thirty minutes later he was pulled out of the water forcefully -- and it was difficult,  he kept trying to go back in the water -- but was held by some man in an ambulance uniform.

"BUT MY BOYFRIEND, HE'S-HE'S IN THERE, SEE?!" he yelled, pointing to the shoes and the water. "HE JUMPED. PLEASE, I GOTTA GET HIM...THAT BOY, HE'S MY LIFE...I," he sobbed, "I don't know what i-i would..what i would do...if..."

the man put a blanket over frank and led him into the ambulance, patting his back and getting the shoes on the way.

"you're gonna live, kid. don't worry." the man said, his jersey accent thick.

"but i don't want to if he's not by my side!" frank refused. "just let me go back."