⚘ Synesthesia ⚘

Chapter 6 ⚘

Avery gave a sigh of relief when he was called into Dr. Hughes office. Normally he wanted to be anywhere but there, but the voices were becoming way too loud for Avery's comfort. He knew he had nothing to lose, he had already decided he wasn't going to tell Hughes about the voices or the whole issue with Ryder.

"Hello Avery." Dr. Hughes greeted, ushering Avery inside.

"Hi." Avery mumbled, shutting the door behind him.

"Now," Dr. Hughes started, "Shall we begin?"

***

Avery was all too glad when he exited the Dr. Hughes room. He was grateful that the voices had quit being so loud, but he was reminded of how much he actually despised Hughes.

Walking home made Avery feel the all too familiar color that was blue- or at least it should have. His blue wasn't as prominent without Ryder and it was faded into an almost grey hue. He felt so alone without his friend, but with him, he would just feel confused. It was a lose-lose situation.

Avery thought about going over to Ryder's house, but he decided against it. He still wasn't ready to talk.

As Avery continued his journey home, he was hit with a familiar scent. All around him he smelled a vanilla and cinnamon mixture, the combination giving Avery a warm feeling with a sweet taste on his tongue. It was drastically different from what he had been feeling for the past few weeks, and he wasn't sure where it came from or why it was here.

Avery turned around in circles where he was standing, trying to find out the source of the scent, when a familiar voice rang out.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Avery looked up to see Ryder sitting on a tree branch above him.

Upon seeing Ryder, the sweet taste in Avery's mouth was gone, now replaced with something bitter.

Avery was starting to find it hard to breathe and he was drowning in a sea of purples, blues, and blacks. His colors were more vibrant than ever.

Ryder climbed down from his branch and stood at the base of the tree. "Can we talk?" Ryder asked. "You've been avoiding me."

Avery was about to protest, when he realized the attempt would most likely get him nowhere. He had been avoiding his best friend, and that's what he really wanted to do now.

When Avery still remained silent Ryder sighed, deciding on a different approach. "Today's Wednesday, yeah?" Ryder asked, walking closer to his best friend. Avery nodded.

"So, did you go to see Hughes?" Ryder asked, starting to walk along the trail again.

"Yeah." Avery said, taking a few cautious steps towards Ryder.

"Does he know about the voices?" Ryder questioned, stopping a few feet ahead of Avery. Avery shook his head.

"No, I didn't tell him." Avery said, coming to a halt. "And I didn't say anything about the kiss either."

Ryder raised an eyebrow, seeming surprised. "You're going to acknowledge that?"

"I guess so." Avery said. He no longer felt as if he were drowning, and his breathing was getting somewhat back to normal. Now that it was out in the open, it offered some relief, even though Avery still felt uncomfortable.

"Are you mad at me?" Ryder asked, while resuming his walk. Avery looked up from his feet, surprised by the question.

"No." Avery answered, starting to walk again. "It was just I was confused, that's all." Ryder gave a small smile and shook his head.

"Yeah, okay." Ryder paused for a moment before turning to look at Avery. "I wasn't trying to be a jerk." Ryder defended himself. "You just kind of surprised me." Avery nodded.

"I know. I shouldn't have done what I did." Avery fixated his eyes on the ground, feeling the dark colors all coming back, lingering in the air, waiting to strike. Ryder gave a slow nod.

"I mean, it was pretty weird." he coughed. "I didn't know you were gay." Ryder rubbed the back of his neck before stopping to look at his friend. "Are you gay?" he asked. Avery bit his lip.

"I don't know." his tone was anything but welcoming, and Ryder took that as his cue to stop talking about the issue. 

"So are we cool now?" Ryder questioned. "I'm offering a truce." Ryder put his hands up, doing his best to add a small bit of humor to this dark situation.

"Yeah, we're cool." Avery sighed and relaxed a little. When Ryder put his hands up, Avery noticed there was a hairband around his wrist. Avery furrowed his brow.

"What's that?" Avery asked pointing to the hair tie. Ryder looked at his wrist and gave a small shrug.

"It's nothing really." He answered, continuing walking. "When I feel like I want to hurt myself again I just snap the band against my wrist instead." Avery gave a small nod and he was starting to feel a very washed out golden color.

"Thank you." Avery said, keeping pace with his friend. "For not hurting yourself." He added. Ryder nodded.

"I made a promise Avery. I'm going to keep it." He said. The two boys walked a little more mainly in silence, until Ryder broke it.

"Hey, maybe you should go." He said. Avery looked up and saw that the pair were at Ryder's house. Avery gulped and immediately felt himself starting to drown again.

There in the driveway was an all too familiar black Ford truck. "Ryder," Avery began. Ryder shook his head.

"You know what I'm going to say, Avery. I'm not going to your house, and you sure as hell aren't coming in mine." Avery sighed and bit his lip.

"What if we called someone?" Avery asked. He has suggested this many times before, but was always met with the same answer.

"And then what?" Ryder asked. "I would just be put in a foster home or something. I don't want to do that Avery." Ryder said. Avery noticed a hint of desperation in his friend's voice and it made his heart ache.

"I just don't want you to get hurt." Avery said. Ryder gave a weak smile.

"Hey, just a few more months of this and I'll be 18. Then I can move out and be away from this hell hole." Ryder said. Avery nodded.

"I guess." He said. Ryder took a big breath and started to walk towards his house. Avery watched as his friend slowly became darker and darker, as he faded into the black abyss that was Ryder's house.

Avery knew that it wasn't going to be long before Ryder was hit and he didn't want to hear his friend's screams. He wouldn't be able to handle that.

Avery began to trek home, walking faster than normal. Avery had tried to stay behind many times before to help, but nothing he did was any good.

Ryder never let him help anyway. Ryder didn't want Avery getting involved because of how dangerous it was, despite many attempts on Avery's part.

It killed Avery that he couldn't do anything and he felt useless as he walked away from Ryder, giving up all hope that he could save him.