Nameless

1

They lower their heads in a line of sorrow and silence, their feet hardly touch as they seem to float over the leaves. The sky grows dark as the thunder rolls in and umbrellas lift from all around as the rain falls, flooding their path.

My umbrella stays shut though; the handle held loosely in my grip. I let the water touch my burning skin and soak my dried out hair. It continues to pour over me as I walk. My clothes now mold to my body, but that doesn't make me change my mind. The umbrella continues to hang by my feet.

My eyes train on the yellow leaves that crunch below me as I trail behind the others. I'm always behind in the lines.

The line soon comes to a stop and everyone quits moving. I shift my gaze up as the priest begins to speak. My fingers wrap around the fragile rose positioned in my strong grip as I force myself to stay focused. Weeping and broken screams echo from the crowd... I stay silent.

The priest shares his words, followed by the few others. It's all the same: "Jason was a good man", "Jason was a good neighbor", "Jason did everything for those he loved", "Jason was a father like no other".

It's all the same unbearable lies. All the same miserable tears these people waste.

If they only knew the truth...

He was a good man, sure, but not for the reasons everyone seems to believe. He was a good man for doing evil, he was a great man for feeding the darkness. He was a good business man, yet a horrid father. A truly good man in the eyes of Satan, maybe.

Nobody ever saw that side of him though. Nobody ever saw the red behind his blue eyes, nobody but his only daughter. The one who felt his cold gaze every night, the one who heard his venous screams on repeat, the one who felt his rough hands grab her and never release her, then slap across her face... the one who saw his darkness, never what they claim to be his light.

"Maria, would you like to say a few words?" The one thing I had no interest in hearing, busts into my thoughts, breaking me from my silence.

I turn my attention to the priest then shift my gaze around at all the tear filled, yet eager eyes. I look back at the priest and he nods me on. When I don't move he slowly speaks, mentioning me to them all. Damn him.

"Nobody knows a man better than his only daughter. Maria, please, would you?" He questions and I slowly step forward.

I move before everyone and look out upon them all. Tears fill their eyes and sobs shake their bodies.

"Maria, don't be shy." The priest whispers in my ear. I turn my attention away from the sobbing crowd and instead move my vision to my father's coffin.

I am not shy...

"I've forgotten who you were." I state, then drop the rose to the coffin. It falls from my hand as if in slow motion. The pedals flap around gently through the air. It takes me away and I see myself in it, jumping from that bridge not long ago, my hands reaching out to nothing as my body had hit that ice cold water beneath me...

The rose lands, then bounces. A gentle thump sounds as the rose hits again debating where it wants to come to rest. My hand slowly closes back as the rose comes to a stop. It stares back up at me as I pull my hand back. A whisk of wind brushes past me and I look up from the rose turning my head to the left. I stare at a man as he steps from behind a tree. His arms are crossed and his brown eyes meet my green ones.

I stare at him unable to look away; scared to look away. Thunder crashes and I gasp at a sudden scream. I spin around and stare at the frozen old woman. She falls to the ground and I step back abruptly as her eyes roll back to land on me. I watch as the life drains from her and her body starts to convulse. I take a deep breath as I reach my hand back and find the rose not there. Slowly I turn my head to look and stumble back... the live rose once on his coffin, now nothing but ash.

"I forgot too." Someone whispers in my ear and I spin around to nothing. More thunder rumbles and lighting cracks as medics rush to the scene. Hands grab me and I look over my shoulder and find the guy has disappeared with the wind. I'm quickly pulled away- screams and chaos breaking free. The sound of sirens wailing in the distance, fill the crying sky with tortured sounds. Wind whips all around and I look back over my shoulder. My father's coffin stays shut and I watch as the ash of the rose is lifted away. I'm pulled inside and the door slams shut behind me.

~~~~~