My Nerd Boy Gone Bad

Prologue

I hate nerds.

I hate the way they walk, like they’re trying to hide themselves away from this miserable world.

I hate their invisibleness.

I hate the way they carry those thick books like their life depended on it.

I hate their awkwardness.

I hate the way they talk to other people like we’re some sort of disease to be avoided.

I hate their intelligence.

I hate the way they stand out inside the classroom like they’re some sort of genius and act like they’re Mr. Know-it-all.

I hate…..

him.

Yes, I am referring to one person only and not the entire nerds in the universe.

I hate him but yet I love him with all of my fucked up heart.

Why?

He changed me. He showed me how beautiful it is to live outside the dark. He cared for me more anyone in this world. He accepted me for who I am. He appreciated every little thing about me. And most of all he loved me when I can’t even love myself.

But why do I hate him?

I hate him because… he had given up on me easily. I thought I deserved him, but no he didn’t deserve a girl like me. He deserves much more… better.

And I am not better neither good nor best.

Wherever he is right now, he’s always here in my heart.

And no one can ever replace him. Ever.

This is how it all started.

July 11, 2013.

How can I forget?