Dream Of Me, To Keep You Safe

The Nightmares

I woke up screaming and slick with sweat every night since I saw Dumbledore fall - the way his eyes looked. It gets more complex each time I think about it. I can't really remember what actually happened anymore, but it always takes place facing out of that tower. In some versions he even pleads with me, staining his grey-blue robes on the astronomy tower's dirty floor as he takes my hands and begs for his life and his cloudy eyes rain their last... they all end the same way though, I put my hand on his shoulder and smile as I kick him to the ground below.
I sometimes found myself staring at the other faces of people who died in the war - Lupin, Tonks, Fred (who I had always rather secretly liked). Regardless of whose eyes I gazed into, I pushed them all to the ground. I knew I had killed them all.

But one night I felt the wind at my back.

My mentor sneered at me. "Well, well, Malfoy. Still a snivelling brat I see," Professor Snape drawled.
"Severus," I began, stepping towards him.
"Silence," he hissed in that entrancingly measured tone, "Must you insist on being a pathetic, insolent child?"
"Sorry, sir," I bowed my head and stepped back, feeling the edge of the window crumble under me. I am on the precipice.
"You know what's next?" He asked, fixing me with those a look as dark as the beady glare of a hawk circling his prey.
"Yes." I nodded. Then I jumped.