Noelle's Reviews | ON HOLD FOR CATCH-UP

Destiny's Fury

Destiny's Fury by shreya1902.

So first of all I really liked your description, it sounded fascinating! I really enjoyed your first chapter, it gave me insight on things that happened in the past (in the story). I mean, angels, faeries and humans all in one world? Heck yeah!

Okay, the second chapter is what I was a little concerned about. The first part where you said 'She whined like a kicked puppy' and 'her ear perked up' made me think that she was a dog, because yes, those phrases are used to describe dogs. I just wouldn't recommend using them to describe humans. 😉

Also, there were grammatical errors, and some paragraphs were oddly formed.

And just to make things a little more easier for the readers you should make a new paragraph for when different people are thinking. (That probably doesn't make much sense). Like in one paragraph it's Rose's POV and another it could be Leah's. In your book it was all jumbled together so it was hard to read.

Because of those reasons the story wasn't as enjoyable as it should for me.

Overall: Okay 😐

I'm sorry for the pretty sucky rate. But hey, don't feel bad! I'm sure once you fix all the issues it'll be all good. 😀 After all, your book did get #81 in Fantasy right?