over the years I've realized a few things in life that I never had to many people tell me. and its probably stuff most people know that I never did until the past few years.
1. that its okay not to be friends with people who hurt you and make you feel bad about yourself. even if you've been "friends" for years. this was something I never knew growing up. and so I was "friends" with people like this for years. because I never knew that "friends" shouldn't always be putting you down. because it was something I had gotten used to.
2. its okay to leave/not talk to people who have hurt you. and by this I don't mean the "oh they hurt me once by saying something I didn't like and I want nothing to do with them" not that that's wrong. but I mean the kind that they hurt you over and over and over again. and they know it. and its not accidental. but like they enjoy hurting you. and in anyway possible. whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, or anything else. this kind of is like the "being friends with people who hurt you" but not quite. by this I mean family such as aunts, uncles, cousins, people you've dated, and people you know but you aren't quite "friends" with them. and you keep going back to them or talking to them because you feel bad about not talking or being around them even though you have done nothing wrong. or they make you feel bad. and if someone keeps hurting you like that. its not okay. and its not selfish to want to be away from them. and even when you have to be around them its okay not to get near them/talk to them.
3. if someone does something to you that you are uncomfortable with. its not wrong to tell someone. and its not your fault even if people make you feel that way. because its your body. not theirs. and they have no say in what makes you uncomfortable. whether it be something small or big. no matter how many times people will make you feel like its your fault. it isn't. and no matter how many times people say its "what you were wearing" or even "how would they know you didn't like what they did" its never your fault. so when people say "they probably just didn't understand you didn't like what they where doing". and every time it gets me mad. because clothes say NOTHING about what you are uncomfortable or comfortable with. and I guess the words "no" or "stop" or "leave me alone" or "let me go" mean nothing.
no one will ever probably read this. but I just felt the need to write about this for some reason.
