Emotions

If Only

If only she had taken better care of herself. She never would have had the accident. If only he would have noticed earlier. He could have called for help sooner. Struggling to breathe, "Go" she commanded me. I run out the house. Not even putting on my shoes. My mind blank from fear. If only my little legs were a little longer. Five minutes. Five minutes is all I took. Five minutes too late. All that running and I still failed. If only we knew CPR. We could have saved her. My sisters in the other room quivering in fear. Crying "what's going on". Screaming and calling my name. Begging for help as the paramedics rush to save her. Paramedics racing her away, we jump into the car but leave my sisters with a friend. In the hospital, our hearts thumping and racing, I would swear everyone could hear it. The doctor finally arrives. He bears the worst news I've ever heard in all my 11 years of living. "Its her or the baby. Only one may survive". I have no say. I have no choice. She did what she did. These were her consequences. Why make the baby suffer? Give them a chance. Give them some life. He chose her over the baby. Unfortunately a grave mistake. To see her suffer broke my heart yet the baby's suffering slayed my soul. Son I chose to stay away. I saw the baby once and knew this was a mistake. They had a chance. A way to live. Away from suffering and pain. If only he had chose the baby. Life support was all the baby had now. This was their fate. To feel all the suffering and feel all that horrid pain. They're fighting the inevitable to no real gain...