Well...Not Anymore.

Well...Not Anymore: Chapter 15

He asked to skip again today but his mom thankfully told him no, that he can't miss two days in a row because it's almost impossible to make up work after that. He protested for a good while but he eventually came up the stairs and into the room in a huff, his fingers clenched tightly at his sides.  

I nod and say, "I'll be fine," even though I know today is going to be extremely difficult without him here. Mrs. Emma told me that she'd be with me all day, that she'd do whatever I wanted her to, but that's not what I want. I don't want someone to be my servant. I just want Lucas to lie next to me, to have one-sided conversations with himself to try and distract my thoughts. I just want to know that he's there. 

But I don't want him to miss school again. He can't just disregard his life and what he's got to do simply because my life has been turned completely upside down. So although it's going to be extremely difficult for me today, I want what's best for him. And what's best for him is not staying in bed all day with a mute girl.  

He keeps his eyes on my face for a few more elongated moments, something that he's been doing a lot of recently, and then breathes out a heady sigh. "Fine," he says, walking over to my side of the bed and then kneeling down in front of me. He brushes some of my unwashed hair out of my face and says, "I'll be back before you know it, okay?" 

I urge him, "Do what you want, please. Don't feel like you have to come back here just for me." 

He gives me a crooked grin before leaning in and pressing a kiss against the cheek that's not pressed into the soft sheets of his bed. His lips linger on my skin for a second longer than necessary, and then he pulls back and says, "I'm coming straight here, don't worry." 

I roll my eyes at him, causing him to laugh. He says, "There's my girl," before pressing one more kiss against my cheek and then leaving his bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him. He doesn't even bother turning the lights off, knowing that I'm not going to get any sleep in today. I haven't slept an interval of longer than two hours since Saturday and he's more than aware of that fact. 

It takes me more than a long time to get myself out bed and over towards Lucas' bathroom, but when I finally get there and climb into his shower, I can't help but feel just a little bit better than what I did. I'm not really going to admit how long it's been since I've showered because it's absolutely revolting, but I do know that when I'm finally done and manage to pull on some clothes from the pile of his older sister's stuff resting on his desk chair, I really don't feel like climbing back into bed.  

So instead I manage to creep outside of his bedroom for the first time in three days and head on down the stairs, intent on finding something to eat. When I see that their kitchen is empty, I say a silent thanks. I really do love Mrs. Emma like she's my own mother, but I don't want to have to deal with anyone but Lucas today.  

I peel open the pantry door and immediately seek out the best kind of comfort there is, mashed potatoes. Lucas had told his mom, against my wishes mind you, to buy a big case of these little one-person cups of microwavable mashed potatoes, the best kind of cry baby food there is. I find that she got the variety case, and immediately grab the buttery kind and then after putting just a bit of water in, pop it in the microwave. 

I mindlessly watch the small bowl go around in its circular motions, just waiting for it to finish so I can dive in, but am stopped short when a warm voice says from behind me, "I thought I heard someone in here." 

I turn around and see that Mrs. Emma has walked into the room, her body clad in her daily kind of clothes but her hair wet from a shower. The smell of a floral shampoo immediately covers over the smell of buttery potatoes coming from the microwave, making me just the slightest bit irritated. I just give her a nod in response and then turn back to watching the food merry-go-round in the microwave.