ketura - ch

chapter three

-- JUNIOR YR --

I couldn't stop thinking about how unsupportive my mom was. It played back in my mind how angry she got at the mention of wanting to sing or write music. Things like that stuck with me because I had never made a single decision on my own since the day I was born. Now that I've found something worth deciding, I'm put in a box and told to be quiet.

I sat in pre-calc and stared down at the homework that was given to us. Luckily lessons weren't planned for today, that meant I got to stare at a paper and pretend to know what I was doing.

Calum cleared his throat beside me, noticing that I hadn't even started the first problem. "You're supposed to subtract first..."

"Thanks," I sighed and rubbed my face.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "Your quiet today."

"I've said like two words to you in this class..." I looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Okay, you're always quiet... but today especially. You have that look on your face..."

"A look?"

"Yeah, like something is wrong.."

"Oh, yeah," I shrugged.

"Well what is it?" He asked.

I looked to the side and then back at him again, clearly uncomfortable. "Nosy much?"

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"I just told my mom that I didn't want to play soccer anymore," I shrugged. "She freaked out."

"Wait, why would you want to quit? You're awesome at soccer!"

"Because I like music more," I admitted with a blush. His face showed that he was clearly surprised.

"I think you should do what you want to do. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to do something. It's your life that you're gonna have to live with for the rest of your life, not your moms."

My heart hurt even worse now. He was completely right and I had no idea how I was going to tell my mom.

Later on my Junior year Calum left for a tour. It was right after my eighteenth birthday that I decided it was time to tell my mom that I was not going to apply for any school to play sports.

I walked in to the my house after practice. The house smelled just like food and It made me all that more nervous.

"Mom?" I called out as I walked in to the kitchen.

"In here," she said. "How was practice?"

I walked in to see my mom had set the table. I was just about to ruin a perfectly good family dinner.

"Can I talk to you about something?" My voice shook.

"Sure," she smiled.

"Okay," I took a deep breath and organized my thoughts. I had ever y point planned out in my head and every argument she could give back at me. "I'm not going to apply for any colleges for soccer," I finally said.

"That's okay hon! Why do you look so scared? Lucy did softball too, your father and I will support what ever sport you choose."

"No, you don't get it. I'm not going to play any sports. I'm going to quit soccer this week."

My mom became very silent. I took a deep breath and waited for her to fight back.

"That's fine," she finally said.

"Wait, what?" I looked at her.

"You can quit," she agreed. "As long as it's not under my roof."