The Murderer

...

"I am afraid..."

I uttered the brittle expression with sadness, with hard tone, with emotions of anger and confusion that rise up. Then, I felt my hands starting to falter and finally, the painful tears run down in my face. But still, I did not hear any word from him. We were just standing there for a long time---feeling the a warm breeze that added to my agony, saying no words, and letting the absence of sound speak to us.

it was  just the previous week when we talked about the matter we are facing. Now, he looked distressed as I was. He made a lot of excuses not to meet me and I sensed that he had been ignoring my presence since the day I told him that I was pregnant.But I did not bother believing or taking his lies.I just focused on the problem we both  created.

I looked at him, confirming his response to what I have said. His weary eyes were talking to me, "I-can't-handle-the-situation." That made me feel even weaker. The words seemed to echo inside my head; repeating the sound hundreds of times with loud depressing voice coming from him. I could not help it but thought that i would face the problem solitarily.

"I need to go." I uttered.

The deep silence was covering us so I needed to end the futile conversation. I start to take my steps away from him, away from that rendezvous where we first met.

"Wait...!" he said.

I did not stop; I continued walking and totally released all the pain in my heart.

"We should do the abortion or else we will suffer for the rest of our lives...!"

"I have my dreams, and being a father at this age is not part of them." He shouted with authority.

I knew he was already angry. I stopped and turned my back from him again.

"You do not understand!" I cried in front of him.

"I can't kill this innocent baby...!" my trembling voice was enough to reflect the mixed emotions I was experiencing at the moment.

He walked toward me to ease the tension I was feeling; to express that he still loved me and was willing to be with me...but for how long? Not for a long time for sure.