Who I Was, From the Start [SNSD FANFIC]

prologue: a marionette's performance

Title: who i was, from the start
Characters: Yuri, Yoona
Word Count: 1,175
Disclaimer: about as real as a straight tower of Pisa.
Rating: pg13
A/N: So as some of you may know, I got this idea when I was looking at photographs in Poland (yes, I know the exact moment which is kinda weird 'cause I can never pinpoint stuff). That idea morphed quite a few times and this is the final product. The love I received from the upward fall makes me a little nervous (I feel like this pales in comparison to that one) but this fic has drained me and it would be a waste if I just kept it to myself >D. Hope you guys like it.

The room bounced with the bass and Yuri put on her headphones to check if it wasn't too loud. She slid down the bass booster and no longer felt the music in the soles of her feet.

Nope, too low.

She brought it up a few notches until the low thump resounded in her fingers and left it alone.

Next to her the smoke machine started again and she breathed in the fake gas. It made her throat tight, every time, and she reached for the water bottle under the booth.

Salt from her sweat mixed together when she licked her lips and she smiled-the crowd was larger tonight than most days.

The current song winded down and she grazed her index finger along the groove of the record, feeling, listening, for that certain moment and scratched the record, the vibration like adrenaline running up her arm.

Her shoulder swiped the left headphone off her ear and the once dulled music burst from the speakers. She raised the treble, the singer's voice much more distinct now. Her finger was back on the record instantly, her other hand occupied with the equalizers, searching for that perfect beat, knowing she'll never find it. But she tried week after week because by the end of her three hour set she was close, so close that her blood flowed according to the song and perfection was at her fingertips.

"Yul! Wake up, damn it!"

Yuri threw the headphones to rest on her shoulders, startled by the invasion. It was easy for her to get lost in the world she created out of music and breaking the trance so violently always left her a little shell shocked.

"What?!" she yelled back.

Seunghyun brought his arm up and tapped his watch. Yuri didn't need to be told more. She turned on her microphone and pulled it towards her before carefully lowering the music.

"Alright guys, that's it for me. Time for the playback." The crowd moaned collectively at Yuri's departure. Yuri was just as disheartened as they were. "See you next week."

The whopping still went on even after Yuri stepped down from the stage.

In the employee lounge Seunghyun handed her a towel and water.

"Good job kid. You think you can go for another hour?"

Yuri's legs hurt from standing for three hours straight, she was starving, her head was beginning to pound characteristically, and the muscles in her hands felt too big for her skin.

"Hell yes."

But there wasn't any place better than that DJ booth.

It was one in the morning and Yuri's day had begun.

*

Yoona pulled out the little umbrella from her drink and stuck it in her mouth. Somewhere in the blur of bodies were her friends but everything was unrecognizable from the combination of the staccato strobe light and alcohol.

Each week it was the same thing, over and over again, and Yoona started to find it difficult putting events into separate nights. Maybe she was weird, because there were people that envied her, that would have given up limbs to be her, to do and see the things she did. It was like everyone refused to see beyond their bubble of riches and entertainment to acknowledge that a whole other world lay outside of theirs and if you wanted to, you were considered a nutcase because what other world was better than this one?

"Hi." It was a boy from school, or at least she thought so, hoped so, because it wouldn't feel so desperate hooking up with a complete stranger. "Want to get out of here?"

Yoona looked back to the dance floor but saw no one familiar and put the umbrella back into her full drink. The boy's palm was sweaty and she could have done without the stench of his cologne but she wasn't going to be picky.

Guys like him broke the monotonous routine, if only for a few sparse hours and made Yoona feel like the amazing life she was supposed be thankful for less like a trap.

*

Yuri stepped out from the club into the equally humid air of the outside. Between the buildings from across the street she could see the sky tinged a lighter color; the sun would be up momentarily. She unhooked her helmet from her bike and fast it on her head.

The night had been good to her and the high she was on would last until well into the day. She started the engine, the bike roaring to life and left the lot, waiting for dark to begin again so she could get a new hit.

*

He was babbling something about his yacht, or his father's yacht, and Yoona was trying to listen and be interested, she really was, but she wasn't drunk enough to be humored.

"I'm happy you're here, Yoona. I've liked you for a long time."

"Oh." Now she felt bad. "What'd you say your name was?"

"Seungi, Lee Seungi."

His smile was something to admire and the least he deserved was her attention. He ushered her out of the club, past a drunken couple laughing in the hall and into the night, or whatever was left of it. It was much later (or much earlier depending on who you were) than Yoona had originally thought. The streetlights would be turned off soon as natural light took over and another day began.

"Wait here. I'll go and get my car, okay?"

Yoona nodded and brought her coat tighter over herself though it wasn't particularly cold. Her dress didn't cover much and there were too many leering goons huddling on corners that she could only identify by the glow of their cigarettes. She was used to ignoring those kinds of eyes and watched the cars pass by her, the odd time doing nothing to keep people off the roads. Soon she'd be a part of them, though she doubted that their destinations were as unknown as hers was. Half the time Yoona didn't know where she was going but that rarely ever concerned her-as long as she wasn't alone, she didn't worry.

Several shiny cars and a lone motorcycle sped by just as Seungi pulled up.

"You ready to go?"

The car smelled of new leather and the seats were warm, probably heated. She looked at her silent phone-none of her friends had called or texted about her location, whether she was conscious or lying in a ditch somewhere. Not that she could really blame them; she wouldn't have cared if they suddenly left either.

Seungi turned on some music to drown the silence between them and Yoona let her head rest against the cool window. Her breath fogged the glass and in the smoky haze she drew a heart with her finger.

"Do you want to open the window?"

Seungi pressed a button and the window rolled down, smearing Yoona's heart.

She closed her eyes against the harsh wind and mouthed a quick prayer into the fading darkness.

"Someone, please...help."

**