It began at an early age. I was eleven when I saw societies true nature. It grew worse over time. The depression. It's been four years. Everything is still falling apart. Nothing has gotten better. Not one bit.
"You little whore! You're a disgrace!" My dad had yelled at me. My dad was and is abusive in a way. My mom was and is being beaten by him daily and so am I. Bruises, cuts and burns. A new one everyday. It got old. I couldn't take it anymore. "Stop!" My mom had yelled. I ran to the kitchen to see what was going on. My dad had been drinking again. As he came towards me I ran to my room and locked the door.
I was terrified. I had no clue what to do. I go and sit at my desk and started to draw. The pencil I was using had fallen to the floor. I got down to pick it up and it was just lying there. A blade. I had no clue as to where it came from. I picked it up and the thoughts started rushing through my head. I decided I couldn't handle the pain. I quickly ran to the bathroom. I put my wrist over the sink. I looked in the mirror and took a deep breath.
One cut. Two cuts. Three cuts. I watched as the blood dripped off my arm and onto the floor. It felt so good for some reason. I had felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. I felt happy and relieved.
I walk into class pulling my sleeves down to cover my cuts. I take two steps in and Elizabeth McGuire trips me. The whole class laughs at me. I felt the urge coming. I got my stuff and walked to my seat in the back of the class and sat down. About ten minutes in, I couldn't take it. I raised my hand and asked if I could go I the restroom. I ran out of the class. I go into the restroom and fall to floor crying. I get the blade out of my back pocket.
One cut. Two cuts. Three cuts. Four cuts. Five. I watched the blood appear as I wiped away my tears. I'm okay. I tell myself. I put the blade back into my pocket and get up out of the floor. I pull my sleeve down and walk over to the sink and put cold water on my face. I walk out trying not to cry again. "Freak." Said someone as they walked past me. What a bitch. I said to myself. I go back into class and put my earbuds in. I looked out the window and started to zone out.
The bell had rang about half an hour later. I gathered my stuff and went straight to my locker. I open my locker and put my stuff in there so I can eat lunch. "Hey Nikole." Said my one and only friend Kaila. "Hey Kaila." I said as I shut my locker. "So I'll trade you my sandwich for whatever you got." Said Kaila. I reach in my locker and pull out my lunch and give it to Kaila. "Here." Said Kaila as she reached for her lunch. "You know what, I'm not really hungry." I said stopping Kaila from giving her lunch to me. "Are you okay?" Kaila asked. "Yeah I'm fine, I'm just not hungry." I replied. "Are you sure?" She asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure." I said. Kaila and I walked outside. And there he was. Just standing there. My dad. "Hey, isn't the your dad?" Kaila said as he was walking towards me. "Dad?" I said. He jerked me by the arm. "You're coming with me. Now." He said violently.
When I got home I ran into my room and locked my door and turned my music on. I tried to forget. Forget what he's done. He's drunk. Nothing is new. I slam my body down onto my bed. I close my eyes getting lost into the lyrics. I slowly fell asleep with my music playing.
