Making Taylor

Telling My Friends

August 14 2016, 12:32 a.m.

Dear Journal,

Today, or I guess now it's yesterday, was so exciting and scary all at once. I came out to my best friends, and I also finally felt what acceptance felt like. Everyone in the world has their secrets, and I respect that, but I've always had this dream of one day having a person- even better several people- who accept me fully for who I am and actually know and love the real me.

It was closing night and we had a rough start, but at the end of the show, we did our bows and got backstage alive and in one piece. That's good right? 

Once the curtains were closed, everyone started changing into red carpet outfits so that they could walk down the fake one and pose for several cameras that wee live streaming to Facebook. Anyways, everyone was getting real dolled up and then I'm just off in the corner with my Panic! At The Disco in my ears and my sweats and t-shirt. One of my friends came up to me and asked me why I wasn't getting all dressy and fancy and I replied that I wasn't doing the red carpet. Then, she and several others started freaking out because they overheard, and they started dragging me left and right trying to do my hair and makeup as I tried to bat them away from me. I was always the girl who would watch and make fun of the red carpet. There was no way in hell that I was getting on it and posing for who knows how many people. I eventually fended them off and explained how I just didn't care. After a few more minutes of my pleading them to just let it go, they gave up and went off to 'finish' their already perfect hair and makeup.

I unplugged my earbuds and went down the hallway to the boys dressing room, where I complained to all of them about how I definitely did not want to get all dressed up. Upon hearing this, one of the boys started teasing my hair with his fingers, and just at that moment, seven girls all walked in and attacked him, screaming him to stay away from my "precious" hair. They care about it more than I do. Most of the rest of that hour was spent me walking back and forth from the girls and boys dressing rooms and convincing everyone that I didn't care. Eventually my best friend came to me from the crowd and walked with me to the boys room. She talked about all of the dress options that I had, if not having a dress was the problem. Then I turned to her and said "honestly, you guys are being so annoying about this, I'm actually considering going in there [the boys dressing room] and asking to borrow a suit and tie, because I left my good one back home." At this she started freaking out and dragging me to the room. She started taking about how i would definitely rock the suit and tie look and to this I just replied, "well yeah. I've always liked them better and look better in them anyways. I think it's because I think I'm gender fluid, but still." And she didn't even hesitate or give a second thought about my words. She literally just said, and I quote word for word, "well that's cool too, just as long as you look good in it." Then she stormed into the dressing room and demanded that someone give me their suit.

God, I love my best friend so much, and everyone in this new town. I've only lived here for two months and I already feel like I've never belonged somewhere more. Everyone accepts everyone no matter what because we are all different, and I will never forget how nice these people are to me.

In the end, I still didn't do the red carpet because I ran in after her and told everyone to calm down. No matter what I was wearing, no one could get to me to walk down one of those. I don't think they could get me to, Alex or Taylor, suit or dress. 

Anyways that's all that happened today. 

-Taylor Glennon