Against All Discouragement

Chapter one "Endings & Beginnings"

Sasha's POV

'What?' I say trying to keep my voice steady. It's very early in the morning. I'm having breakfast before going to work while my fiancé Asher sits in front of me.

'I am so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me Sasha. I am just so sorry,' he says while taking my hand in his.

'So you tell me you cheated on me, not once but multiple times and then you just say sorry,' I reply while pushing his hand away. 'What do you want? Me to forgive you?'

'Yes. I mean, no.' He shakes his head. 'No, I don't expect you to forgive me. I expect you to understand. I don't want to lose you. I love you.'

I laugh. 'You expect me to understand?' I stand up and put my empty plate in the dishwasher.

'I need to get to work, I can't do this right now.'

'Can we talk about it tonight?' Asher asks with a sad tone in his voice.

I walk into the hall and put some things in my bag. I hear Asher coming after me.

'Sash, please,' He says when he realises that I'm not going to reply or look at him.

I put on my coat and open the door. 'I don't know Asher,' I say while shaking my head almost on the verge of crying. 'I don't know.'

When I arrive at work I park my car close to the entrance. I look out of the window and feel tears coming up. Not now. I say to myself. Please. I sigh and open the car door. While I'm walking to the entrance I wipe my eyes dry and try to smile.

Shay's POV

Troian, Lucy, Ashley, the rest of the cast and I are waiting for the table read for the upcoming episode. I see them talking but I'm not really listening. 'Shay,' Ashley says while touching my arm. I look up at her. 'Hm?'

'Yeah, hello. I'm talking to you,' Ashley says. 'What's up? You seem distracted lately.' I look down. 'No, everything's fine. Just a bit tired,' I tell her. 'Where's Sasha?'

'I'm here,' I hear Sasha say with a rushed voice while walking towards us. 'Did you miss me?' She smiles at me and I feel myself smiling back. Oh, there's that rollercoaster feeling again.

'Always,' Troian says while standing up because Marlene comes around the corner. Marlene opens the door and we all walk in. I take my place at the table. When I feel a cold hand on my arm I look up. 'We are next to each other again, I guess Emison is really happening then,' Sasha says when she drops down next to me. I laugh. 'Well, we already had that one scene, so it's obvious.' She takes her hand from my arm and starts taking her script out of her bag. 'Sometimes I want to be Alison. She wins it at getting the love she deserves,' Sasha says with a high voice as if she's about to cry. 'Sasha? Is everything okay?' I ask her. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. At that moment the only thing that mattered was making Sasha happy. I didn't care why or by whom she was hurt, I just wanted to make her happy. Sasha's smile is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen in my life and at that moment when I saw her looking up at me with tears in her eyes I broke.

'Hé, What's going on Sash? You know you can tell me,' I say while taking her hand in mine. 'Not now,' she replies. 'Can you come to my dressing room after the table read?'

'Of course,' I tell her. She smiles at me but I know it's not real. I know that's not the smile I love.

'Alright thank you guys, see you on set,' Marlene says as she is standing up from the table. I grab my stuff and walk to my dressing room. 'Hé Shay, can we talk?' Ashley asks while she hooks her arm through mine. We walk towards our dressing rooms. 'Sure Ash, but later okay? I promised to hang out with Sasha for a bit,' I answer. Ashley gives me a weird look, shrugs and walks into her room. I see Sasha walking into her room too and go after her. When I'm in her room I close the door behind me. 'What's going on Sash? You were on the verge of crying when I asked you earlier.' She turns around and stares in the distance. 'Asher cheated on me, he told me this morning,' She says as she plops down on her couch. I'm so shocked that I do nothing for probably more than a minute. 'What did you just say?' I ask while sitting down next to Sasha. Sasha shakes her head and starts crying. 'Please don't make me repeat that,' she says. I slide closer to her and put my arms around her. She sobs against my shoulder and I try to hold her as tight as possible. 'Why?' I ask. 'Why would he do something like that? You're amazing. You are engaged.' 'Were engaged.' She sits up and looks at me. 'His explanation for doing it was me being at work all the time. He missed me, he missed company.'

'He misses you so he cheats on you? That makes no sense whatsoever.' Sasha grins and stands up. 'I know. And when I get home he wants to talk about it. He wants me to forgive him when all that I want to do right now is cry.' She opens her fridge and grabs a bottle of water. 'You don't really want to do that Sash. Crying is awful,' I say. 'You're the sweetest girl I know. I always saw you as a happy person but of course every person has ups and downs.' I look at her as she sits down next to me again. I push my feelings for her away and decide to just to be her friend today. 'Look, you're not going home tonight. You're staying at my place and we're going to watch a movie or do whatever the hell you want and I won't let you go home until when you're ready to talk to him.' From the way she looks at me I know she's going to say no. 'I can't. I have to talk to him even if I don't want to. But you're the sweetest Shay,' she says. I roll my eyes at her. 'You can. Don't torture yourself Sasha, you're going with me because that's what you need right now. I don't want you to get hurt even more than you already are.' She takes a deep breath and takes her phone out of her pocket. 'Okay, just let me text him otherwise he will go crazy because he doesn't know where I am and all that.' Normally I would be out of my mind happy because Sasha's staying over at my house, but now I can't be. 'And Shay,' she begins. 'Please don't tell anyone else about it? I don't want everyone to know just yet.'

'I won't. You can trust me, always.'

Sasha's POV

It was a long day. When Shay offered that I could stay at her place tonight I became a lot calmer inside. I texted Asher that I wouldn't come home tonight and that I will be staying at Shay's for as long as I need. He read it but didn't reply. 'Hey Sash,' Shay says. 'I was thinking we could do that video for my YouTube channel tonight. If you're into it of course.' I laugh. 'You're so busy all the time, how do you even have time to do things with me?' Shay parks the car at her house and takes her things out of the car. 'I do have free time sometimes. You're my friend and you need me so I'm here for you. That's way more important than doing other things,' she says while dragging me with her to the front door. 'Well, we have to give the fans what they want so let's do that video,' I say as Shay opens the door. She turns around and looks at me. 'Only if you want to.' I smile and walk after her into her house. 'I want to.'

After filming the video (some eating challenge) Shay lend me a pyjamas of hers. 'You're so cute in that pink pyjamas,' Shay says laughing. I roll my eyes and laugh too. 'I wanted the pizza onesie but apparently you're engaged to it.' At the word engaged I look down. Shay walks up to me and puts her arms around me. 'It's okay Sash,' I put my arms around her and bury my face in her shoulder. We stand like that for a couple of minutes. 'Let's go watch a movie,' Shay says after giving me a small kiss on my hair.