Black and White

I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout onto the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.

I feel pain taking hold of my heart; tears prickling of my eyes. Suddenly, I'm finding it hard to breathe. I'm emotional over a book for the nth time. Oh wait, I am emotional. I closed the book and laid it on my bedside table. Normally, I could read books with the same thickness for atleast a day. It's hard to do so when the book is intense with emotions. Especially for an emotional bookworm. I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Elize!" I heard a familiar female voice from the other side of the door. Enthusiastic knocking followed after. I jumped off the bed and opened the door.

"ELIZE!" the girl squealed again. Her dark brown eyes bright with pure excitement. Her rebonded hair resting comfortably behind her.

"What?" I asked, untouched by her excitement. I sniffed the mucus impending its fall. I could imagine my face, tear-stained, and my eyes, a light shade of red. The girl held my shoulders, squealing. I looked at her, not knowing how to react. She, then, entered the room (and continued squealing) and sat on my bunk.

"I HAVE MY OWN COPY OF ALLEGIANT!" she squealed, rocking our bunk bed, as she took a bright red novel from her bag. She laid down on my bunk as she continued her squealing.

"Ooooh," I said, pouring some warm milk on our favorite mugs. I put a spoonful of honey in mine and two pieces of Cadbury in hers, matching another abnormal rainy weather in the campus; just the way we like it. "Amazing," I see her pout in the corner of my eye.

"What happened to you?" Aya asked. "Why so... irritated?"

"That," I said, pointing the bright blue book safe under my purple lamp, on my bedside table. "It's that book's fault," I sniffed again.

"You're reading this again?" she asked, an eyebrow raised. Her voice rose a higher octave.

"I ran out of things to read," I said, simply. I took a sip from my milk.

"Ran out of things to read?" she asked again. She took her mug from the table and sipped from it. "What do you call those, then?" she gestured towards the shelf behind me. I turned to look.

The shelf is 6 feet tall, a head taller than us, divided into 3 parts: upper part is mine, lower part is hers; the new books are on our eye level. We have many books of fiction, manga, anime CDs, tons of Psychology books for reference, English-Japanese dictionaries, a raw Japanese novel, a thesaurus, two study Bibles with different versions on my part, a few love stories, music sheets, and fewer series. I just realized how many new books are stocked in the shelf including House of Hades by Rick Riordan, Let It Snow and Paper Towns by John Green, etc. Minus one certain Saga graciously burnt by Aya. I told her she could've donated it, but she was busy with her evil laugh.

"Uhhh..." was the only thing I said. I turned towards her eyebrow raised on me. I innocently gulped down the rest of what's in my mug. She rolled her eyes and drank from her mug. I shook my head, and placed my mug on the table.

I turned to look at the view outside the screened jalousie behind the study table. From here, you'd see trees. Almost innumerable trees (which are mostly acacia), you'd think you're living in the middle of a jungle if not for a few buildings.

Sometimes, I wonder if he thinks of me, too, whenever he's walking around the Acad Oval, or maybe while reviewing Physics 72 in the Main Library, or while hanging out at the Sunken Garden. Sometimes, I'd think whether it's possible for my feeling towards him be terminated completely, or if it's permanent. I'm not sure if I want it to be or not.