cobblestone |joshler|

day 1

i woke up to a bang.
it was loud and echoed throughout the house, but my brain was fresh out of a dream and i was tired, so i fell back asleep.
when i woke up again, you weren't there. i assumed you went to make breakfast or use the bathroom, but the bed next to me was cold, so i got worried. the time on my phone said 9:47 and underneath it was a text from you that said, "i'm sorry." my heart began to beat loudly, like thunder in my ears. i called your phone, but it buzzed right on your dresser where you leave it every night. you never leave the room without it. i screamed your name but i couldn't hear anything over my damn heartbeat, so i ran down the stairs to the living room to see if you were there. you weren't. the couch in front of the tv was vacant, the strewn records and CDs on the coffee table untouched. the kitchen was hauntingly empty, every dirty plate we left on the counter exactly where we left it, exactly how we left it. i ran through the house opening every door and calling your name until my throat was raw. through every bedroom and bathroom, but you weren't there. if i didn't know better, i would have thought you disappeared off the face of the earth. finally i retreated to our bedroom. my face was wet with tears, my vision was blurry, but it cleared when i saw the door to the closet. i walked over to open it and screamed a haunted and terrible scream, louder than i ever thought i could scream when i saw what was inside. i don't remember when i stopped yelling.
i don't think ill ever get that image out of my head. i'm afraid to blink because every time i do i see it.
love, josh