You're always important to them until you're not. No matter how hard you try, you're always an accessory. Somebody's trick up their sleeve. Now the key to not being used is to use someone first. But what if- hypothetically- you don't want to end up as fucked up as everyone else is? What if you want to be the light in this dark tunnel of lying and cheating that we call life? You can't. It all catches up to you, you know? Being a nice person and all. It fucks you up just the same or even more than being a slithering snake like all those that use you; all those around you. It's one thing to want to be above all evil, but it's another to want to be above it so bad that you tumble under it. We live in a fucked up world. Everybody has an alterior motive, even if they don't know it. If it's not one thing, it's another.
He had me. I was wrapped around his scrawny little finger. At one point I trusted every single breath that came out of his mouth. Whenever he needed something I would provide it. There was no hesitation. It was like clock work. He called, I went. He asked, I gave. He left, I waited... And the cycle would start up all over again. It's not like I didn't know it was happening. I did. I racked my brain to figure out why I put up with it. Why, after all these years, does an asshole like him still control me? It finally clicked, one day. Every piece of the puzzle came together. The second I tell him to leave, I look around and I have nobody; or at least that's what I told myself. "Nobody" is the term for people who are there but you don't appreciate because you're too blind and stupid to see them there. I'm nobody. I'm one of those people. I let myself be the one that no person pays attention to but simply falls back on when they're in trouble. And when they're back up, they don't remember "nobody." It's like I was never there. Ironically, I always am.
M.A.P. ⚜
