Always Running

Chapter 2

After we had breakfast, I was cleaning when Landon let me know he had to get to work. Before we moved here, Landon had to be assured his job would be replenished here in New York. The next day we got a call telling us that when he came and was settled he could start work. I found it a little weird that he had to start so early, but I didn't question it as long is it paid half the bills.

Landon was a policeman, he was good at his job, his athletic body being a bonus. When he was off the job, he still helped out around the office back at home, he sometimes had to take trips to do training, that got him multiple promotions. New York is one if the had to travel to, that's how he'd found this house. When it came to crime, he did his best to solve it, but I also know he's one of those good cops. He let people go on traffic violations with a warning, he did his best to keep the at risk teens out of trouble, he even signed our town up for beyond scared straight so the kids could see most of the stuff he didn't have the authority to show, he loved kids and the feeling was very mutual.

He worked at a middle school back in Dallas in the mornings to keep things running smooth. On holidays he came home with presents and cards often. He was an all around sweetheart. His jealousy was something I volunteered to deal with, that's my business.

Besides him and Tremaine's issues, I've never seen or gave him a reason for him to be jealous. Him on the other hand, had so many females on his field it was hard for him to hit a home run. I wouldn't take him seriously until our junior year in highschool. We talked on a serious note from my seventh grade year until we started dating in my junior year, his freshman year in college. We became friends after my first day if school, and I didn't really become interested in having a boyfriend until I was in seventh grade. He was in ninth grade, so he went to a different school than me, but he came over everyday, seeing as we became close.

My seventh grade year, one day after school, opened doors I didn't even know existed. Maybe it was because I developed curves in the right places and grew up mentally as well as physically.

"Hey, Tiana." Landon yelled, running to catch up with my long strides towards the exit.

"Hey." I replied hastily walking out the door into the humid Texas air.

"Can I walk with you?" He asked, making me giggle. If I had a choice I would've told him that about two years ago, when he walked the extra thirty minutes to my house on my first week of school.

"Duh, you always walk with me." I replied looking up at him. He looked like he had a lot on his mind.

"Yeah, but I thought it'd be nice to ask." He said smiling half heartedly.

"You okay?" I wondered, stopping in front of him.

"Ti, can I get something off my chest, and you not freak out?" He asked becoming serious. I felt my heart speed up and stomach churn, when he looked at me.

"Y-yeah, what's up?" I replied, trying to keep my breath even. I was thinking about the worst case scenario.

"You know I love you right?" I nodded my head, still confused about what he wanted to tell me, that question made me even more nervous. I knew he loved me, he knew I loved him. He's one of my only two friends that I have. People like me, but they aren't my friends, no one deals with damaged goods. What if he told me we couldn't be friends anymore?

"Tiana, I love you so much, I'm starting to feel you in a romantic way, I never liked a girl like this. You know I've had girlfriends, but I can't keep 'em knowing I want you," he stepped closer to me, pulling me into his arms, "I really wanna be with you, I want you to know I've been feeling like this for a lil minute but I didn't know how to tell you. I'm lowkey scared right now, this is me putting my bestfriend on the line. After today, I know some feelings gone change, I'm just hoping for the better." He finished, looking down at me awaiting my response.

My heart fluttered hearing him speak those words, I know I've had a crush on him, but I been trying to push it away. Feelings are too messy for a friendship. When he first started this I felt so scared, but now I feel all tingly. I've never felt all warm inside and out like this.

"Landon, I-I lik-."

"Shh, don't say nun. Cause if you hurt my feelings I'd at least like to keep this." He cut me off, I looked at him curiously trying to figure out what he was talking about. But before I could say anything else, his lips came crashing down on mine shutting me all the way up.

After that day, things changed. We talked for a good while, he never asked me to be his girl, I wondered for months why. My first heartbreak was finding out exactly why he wouldn't do so.

___________________________

Dear Diary,

Tremaine was my first love for a man outside of my father, but Landon was my first heartbreak. He didn't even know how much I went through it, but the fact that I couldn't leave him alone and he changed, or at least I thought, is what caused me to fall head first, waist deep, in love with him.

Being with Landon felt natural, he caused me a lot of good memories but now I'm imprinted with scars of the bad ones. Not only scars, but traumatizing reoccurring dreams. It's sad to say but I'm still in love with a ghost of the fatal past. I can't help it, although he tore me away from everything I knew, and loved. He turned me against the ones who were always there and that loved me. Damn, how I missed them.