The way back

Chapter one

It was another typical day in LA and she was tired her eyes weary and her limbs aching today was another day of photoshoot after photoshoot and all she wanted to do was go home and shower and hide away in her bed oblivious to the world but of course she knew that was not going to happen after all things were never that easy for Ellen Pompeo.

She walked into her beautiful home glad that Chris was away for a few days, what kind of person was glad that their husband is away she felt like a bad wife but she couldn't help it things were up and down now for a long time. The kids were away at their grandparents so she could get a bottle of jose and drown in her sorrows. It wasn't always like this she was happy once upon a time. It seemed like so long ago now but there was a time when she felt like the most beautiful woman in the world, a time she cherished and it was all down to him. She thought he would never let her down, that he would always be there but it wasn't meant to be.

The last time they saw each other was a haunting memory in her days and nights

Flashback

"You can't do this Paddy....you can't leave everything you love...i can't do this without you."

"I'm sorry....my wife and kids i need to be there...i wish..." He whispered.

"What about me? Paddy i can talk to shonda i'll explain and tell her that we are a team without you i can't do the show you're my rock please we can...."

"I'm not i can't do it anymore, you will manage you always do" he interrupted. "Its over"

She refused to let him see the tears threatening to pool over her cheeks and harshly turned away from him. She already lost him she knew there was no way back for them. "Fine go if you want to throw everything away go."

"Ellie...i.." He began his voice on the verge of breaking.

"Go...just go Patrick get out...GET OUT!" The harsh words seeping out of her mouth.

The click of the trailer door signalled that he was gone and she crumbled to the floor her broken cries filling the empty space.

End flashback

She fell onto her bed in the foetal position letting her tears freely overtake her once more. That was the last she saw of him and now he was everywhere, what with his movie 'Bridget Jones baby' coming out later this year his face plagued every magazine, and her tv screen all the time. Not to mention on countless pictures with her, its like he was taunting her with his renewed marriage. It hurt to see him and not be able to talk to him. He was still as dreamy as ever seen if not more so but there was a certain void in his eyes they didn't shine like they used to. Who was she kidding he was probably ecstatic playing happy families and the devoted husband.

She had to get used to the fact that he was gone and he was never coming back.
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A few miles away Patrick walked into his house dropping his luggage in the entry way. He was tired and he needed a decent nights sleep something which he had not managed to do on the road so far.

He was immediately assaulted with the voices of his kids running into the hallway and naturally he pulled them into his arms glad to see them he loved his kids they were the only things in his life that made him want to go on.

"Hey dad, you coming to our game?" Asked an eager Sullivan.

"Let your father breathe, he just walked through the door" came the delightful giggle of Jill. "Hi," she whispered coming to place a small kiss on his stubble covered face.

"Hi," he whispered back looking at her and offering a smile.

"Dad, come on we will be late," pleaded Sullivan.

Patrick looked down at his kids he hated to let them down but he needed a shower and sleep. He could do with the house to himself for a while.

"Sorry champ, i'm exhausted i'll come to the next one i promise." He  spoke ruffling his blond hair.

The kids understood the demands their dad faced in a daily basis and with a chorus of goodbyes and see you later they ran out of the house.

"I'll be out in a bit you guys wait in the car," smiled Jill.

She watched as Patrick walked up the stairs his body weary and tired, and decided to follow him. He slumped down on the bed with a heavy sigh and was surprised to see her standing there watching him from the doorway.

"I thought you were going to the game," he spoke tiredly.

"I don't have too," she whispered sauntering towards him and kneeling in the bed next to him. She places her hand across his cheek and down his face moving forward and placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I can stay here we have a lot of time to catch up on."

He moved away sitting up and running a hand through his hair "I'm not in the mood i'm really tired i just want to sleep." He groaned walking towards the ensuite.  "Go to the game i need to be alone."

"As usual" she spat bitterly leaving the room frustrated once again at his lack of cooperation.

A short while later a clean shaven Patrick walked out of the steam filled bathroom in his gown intent on catching up on some sleep. He pulled back the duvet cover and settled in between the sheets. He noticed a bunch of trashy magazines by the side of the bed, Jill always read this trash she got some insane pleasure reading about the celebs and scandals even though the majority was always lies. He grabbed one not really interested but to pass the time whilst sleep came to him. Flicking through the pages he skim read the headlines and stopped in his tracks when he saw it. She was there again as much as he tried t avoid seeing her she always popped up in some way. She looked so carefree at the beach with Stella a smile in her face unlike the last time he saw her.

Flashback

She was pleading with him holding onto his hands not to do this,not to leave everything.

I'm sorry....my wife and kids i need to be there...i wish..." He whispered. He could still remember her broken reply as clear as if it was yesterday

"What about me? Paddy i can talk to shonda i'll explain and tell her that we are a team without you i can't do the show you're my rock please we can...."

"I'm not i can't do it anymore, you will manage you always do" he interrupted. "Its over"

The look of pain in her eyes as he moved his hands away from hers was something he would never forget. He watched aa she turned away from his gaze her back towards him, he could see the way her shoulders fell and silently weep.

"Fine go if you want to throw everything away go."

"Ellie...i.." He began his voice on the verge of breaking. How he wanted to hold her to tell her that he wasn't going and that he changed his mind. He wanted to comfort her and tell her it was going to be okay but he couldn't he had to let her go

"Go...just go Patrick get out...GET OUT!" The harsh words seeping out of her mouth was the last time he heard her speak to him.

He left the trailer closing the door behind him he collapsed outside the door he could faintly hear her broken cries and he was the cause of that.

Patrick silently wiped the lone tear that made its way past his eyes. "I'm sorry Ellie." He put the magazine back and pulled the covers over himself and closed his eyes intent on drowning out the rest of the world.