Late Night Babbles

When I Say You Don't Understand

I say you don't understand, without using words

when I go silent as I see you ignore my request for help 

when my eyes water as you say, "You're just being sensitive" or worse, "You're just overthinking it"

when I try to un-etch the words you pasted onto my forehead, "That's not hard at all, you're just weak, lazy"

I can't help but think, do you really know me?

Do you?

Have you cried for 4 days in a row from pure loneliness?

Have you overthought your entire life so much it makes your head pound?

Have you been thrown through an endless cycle of exhausting mood swings everyday of your life?

Have you sat staring at the wall wishing you could just fade out of existence?

Have you been afraid to leave your bedroom just due to the fear of being judged?

Have you had self hate pounded into your brain and thought process so much that you begin to not even care if you get hurt, what condition your body is in at any given moment?

Have you ever stopped caring if you break?

I could honestly go on for pages and pages

I'm not trying to lay out all my experiences to try and make your pain feel lesser, however

Don't you ever dare assume that you understand what ANYONE goes through at face value, from a simple assumption.

I'm trying, just as we all are. 

Don't you dare make me repeat myself, you don't understand.

(Venting off of some of my pent up emotions about feeling like no one recognizes the pain others go through and such)