I sit at the table, waiting for him to get here. I just sit and sit, waiting.
He was supposed to be here 2 hours ago. Two hours of waiting, with no sign of him showing.
If he couldn't make it, he would have called, right? He didn't ditch me; there has to be a reason he hasn't called.
I sit here for another 15 minutes, waiting for him to show. I don't hear anyone in the driveway, so I call my next door neighbor, asking her if she saw him come home before I got here. She tells me she hasn't seen him since he brought her the mail that got put in the wrong box again.
I've had a sick feeling in my stomach that something bad has happened for a while that I just can't shake.
What if he's hurt?
I look out the kitchen window again as the phone rings. I pick it up and hear an unfamiliar male voice speak.
"Ma'am your fiancé is in the emergency room, we need you here as quick as you can come."
Fiancé.
I still haven't gotten used to the the word even though I've been hearing it for 5 months.
I envision what happened a couple months ago as I get in my car, speeding to the hospital.
*FLASHBACK*
"Babe, where are we going? The ball is going to drop and my mother is going to lose it if we're not there when it does." I say to him as he guides me further into the forest behind my parents' house.
"We're almost there, love, chill." He laughs.
He abruptly stops and checks his watch. "3 minutes, baby." He tells me.
"For what insane reas-" I begin but stop when I realize why he dragged me out this way.
He lowers onto one knee, his jeans making a soft crunch in the snow.
"I want you forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together. Forever and always. Love, will you marry me?"
I cry and nod, he stands up and wraps his arms around me.
I jump when I hear "HAPPY NEW YEAR" shouted behind me to see all of my family.
I turn back to my now fiancé and pull his face down to mine, kissing him, hoping for a happy new year.
*END FLASHBACK*
I get to the hospital, hop out of the car and throw my keys to the security guard, telling him to find any space.
I walk into the emergency unit lobby and sprint to the front desk as fast as I can, telling him I'm here for my fiancé. A nurse shouts for me to follow her, hearing what I had said. She leads me down so many hallways I couldn't find my way out if I wanted to.
I assume she's telling me what happened but I can't hear her over the overwhelming beat of my heart trying to rip itself out of my chest.
I'm holding back tears as I open the door to his room, seeing him sitting up talking to a doctor, arguing with him about calling me again.
"Love." He says as he sees me. I run to his side and grab onto his hand.
"Baby, you're okay," I gasp as I sit down.
"I don't have more than 2 hours. That's what the doctor told me."
"No, you're going to be fine. You're going to live and we're going to have kids and move into that house on the hillside that we've always dreamed of buying. You'll make it, you have to." Tears are running down my face as I shake my head, refusing to believe he might not make it.
"I want that too, I want us to be together, forever and always."
"Forever and always. Whether rich or poor, for better, we'll still love each other. Forever and always." I reply.
An idea pops into my head as I stand, lean over him and press the button to call in the nurses. I tell them to bring up the chaplain. He gets there a few minutes later; in the time it takes I walk next door to a married couple and ask if I can borrow their wedding rings for about an hour, to which they happily agree.
I get back to the room to see the chaplain, a couple nurses and two doctors.
As he says a couple verses I hear the heart rate monitor going strong as it would if I were hooked to it.
Everyone is crying as the chaplain says something funny, causing all of us to laugh through the tears.
"Now the bride's vows." He says.
"I want you forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together, and always remember. Whether happy or sad or whatever, we'll still love each other, forever and always." As I finish I hear the beeps slow substantially.
His voice is hard to hear as he says. "I love you forever, forever and always. Please just remember, even if I'm not there, I'll always love you, forever and always."
I hear the monitor flat line and sit there silently. I run my thumb over his cheek, wiping the tears as I say my last words before I leave my husband.
"Forever and always."
