BROKEN.

38. Never Mine.

I fell asleep with the memory of his eyes. Silver and then grey. Tempestuous, angry, passionate,loving. There were no dreams that night and when I did fall asleep, it was with my hand still in his.
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ERIC

It was seven in the morning when I walked into the hospital room. I hadn't seen her in a week and I was growing increasingly worried about her. Kaveh had said that she looked tired and depressed and it hurt me physically to imagine her unhappy.

My heart broke at the sight of her curled up in that plastic chair. She was a mess. Her hair tumbled down her shoulders in a tangled mess, her eyes looked almost bruised from the lack of sleep, her skin looked pasty and still she was the most beautiful being I had ever laid eyes on.

For how long had I been in love with her? For how long had I wanted to hold her and kiss her and call her mine? For how long had I known that all my dreams would count for nothing?

Kaveh had told me that I would be better off forgetting my feelings for her but that was impossible. Where was it written that just because you love someone that they should love you back? Even as I fell in love with her I knew it would amount to nothing but my feelings for her growing stronger as time went by.

So many times she had looked up at me with those blue eyes that had the same look as the little girl I'd rescued from a tree. But it wasn't long before I realised that she wasn't little anymore. She was a woman. With a woman's mind and a woman's body. God that body could drive a man insane and she didn't even realise it.

She still looked up to me the way she did as a kid. She admired me and thought I was amazing and I knew I was one of her favourite people. I knew that I was one of the most important people to her and that without me she would feel lost. But I was rooted so deeply in the brozone it was pathetic. I'd been hounded by every other girl but the one I wanted to be drooled over by. To her I'd always be big brother Wic. I never tried because I knew she was destined for big things. I mean, look at what she'd done. She had brought two rival packs, with pig headed Alphas together. She'd brought two of the strongest packs together.

For all my big talk about loving her in spite of not being loved back, I was still consumed by jealousy when Alpha Aleksy walked in. He was grumpy and seemed to be in a bad mood all the time, yet when he walked into the room it was like her day instantly brightened. Even when they first met, the tension was palpable. They were drawn to each other in a way that was even stronger than when Kaveh and Jenna first found each other. I hated it. I didn't want Elaheh to be around him. He was ruthless. He would use her and throw her away. She didn't mean anything to him. Besides, he was dangerous. He was a mean wolf...or so I thought.

Sure he was mean. He was scary in way that one look from him could make you shit yourself for the next four days consistently. But never with her. He was always gentle around her.  He wasn't the big bad Alpha around her. I could see him fight against the instinctive need to protect her. He hated that he had to put her first whether he liked it or not.

That slowly changed though. I could see them growing closer. At the party and every other time I saw them together. His eyes were always glued to her. I recognised the look in his eyes because it was something I constantly experienced around her. Fasciation.

I watched him grow to adore her. By the time the packs got together to train, I could see that he had grown to adore her and his mark on her neck-which had me seeing red-was not the only indication. It was the way he was around her. Always watching her to make sure she was okay, always within close proximity so that he could reach her should anything happen. He worshipped the ground that she walked on and why shouldn't he? Elaheh was a goddess.