Clutter

My head feels like a box full of forgotten memories stored in the attic. Like a valuable nic nac buried beneath junk at an antique store. I stored everything away hoping I could forget about it, but every time I look through my head I end up sitting and staring at my thoughts remembering why I fell in love with you. I thought I did it. I thought I beat my head to the punchline over my jaw but I was wrong because apparently my pain is keeping my mouth shut. I can't say anything because I don't want to wander off the edge with myself. So I keep staring down the abyss. I keep wanting to jump because maybe I can be happy in there this time. I'm left at a standstill of happiness and insanity. I keep seeing visions of you on either side of me. I keep seeing you beside me. i keep seeing you walking away from me. You were the one to try to stray me off this path of conformity, but I keep conforming to you. You always seem to be my problem and solution but I don't know how to handle my problems so I keep trying to run away while pulling you with me, but you keep freezing at the line between love and hatred. You take me for granted while I take you for a goddess. You take me for an item, and I keep getting lost in your attic. I want to pick myself up and dust myself off but you left me broken, but even after all of the shit you put me through, I'll wait for you to find me and dust me off. Maybe you'll let me stay longer this time...