Empty Thoughts

Letter 1- A Girl You Probably Forgot

Hey there,

We haven't talked in a long time huh? I don't know what I'm doing or where to start but I hope you listen...

Remember the times when we were kids? Where the world was just so damn perfect with you beside me..

Where everyone ships us just because you like me. I never said it but I also did like you too.

And we'd go play outside a lot, following my big brother whom you look up to. My big brother, the person which I won't leave the house without.

Those times where we sing in an out-of-tune voice, where we don't care how we look, where we could do anything as exceptions as kids.

Remember when you and my big brother thought of cooking snails? I still remember that... I sat on the worn-out couch comfortably, all of you gathered snails and placed them in a pot! Do you remember me asking if it's edible as the fire heated the bottom of the pot? How we decided to play outside as we wait for the snails to cook only to return and see that the burned shells are empty?

There was also the other time, do you remember we all played ice, ice, water until 7? When the sun was out and the street lamps were on? And we sat by this rock with the water meter? You looked at me and laughed, saying that there are flies circling my head, making me look like an angel? I was totally pissed because you won't allow me to swat the flies away, those flies that hovers on people's head when evening strikes. Seven years had passed by and I still hate those flying bajangees.

Then there was the wedding...

Do you still remember? We had a pretend wedding, my big brother wasn't there... Our other friends were there in the event, our "guests" in our "marriage". You were my first kiss... But we all know that preschool love was never considered.

Visits to my uncle's place has become less frequent and communication had stopped. But even if we haven't seen each other at times that didn't stop you from trying to reach me. And because I haven't seen you, you asked my uncle instead to send regards to me, very cheeky of you.

Years passed, and you got yourself hooked up with video games. With all the time that we haven't talk, it was really awkward when me and my brother visit your place. Your looks changed, different from what I remember. You became taller, and your once-always messy hair was now combed and styled. Despite all the new changes, you still have the same smile and the same sparkle in your eyes. We haven't heard from each other in years and I wonder if you're no longer interested in me. But I did notice your blush when my brother left the room and I sat beside you, watching you hack your way in the game. I chuckled and you turn your head to stare at me in the eye...

I wonder what would have happened... What would have happened if I let the eye-to-eye contact go on for more than three seconds.. What would have happened if I didn't turn away because I felt my face heat up. What would have happened if I didn't excuse myself and left...

I now avoid your house, scared and never confident to see you, not to mention that I heard your family moved away...

CJ...

Look, I just miss you... Your goofy smile, your weird laugh, your stupid questions, the way you talk, the way you try to entertain everyone with corny jokes, I miss everything about you... I miss you..

My heart do too.

Thank you... for the memories.

From,
A girl you probably forgot