The deadly assignment

chapter 16

Bram gave me time to get ready. I came downstairs while Bram looked at me in awe. I wore a sparkling strapless dress, my hair was pinned up again, as usual. I had a smudge of lip gloss on my lips. My makeup was light but Bram still thought I looked amazing. Everyday Bram thought I looked more beautiful than the day before. He thought about how much more beautiful I could be as it was possible that it wasn't my best look. He thought I looked pretty in anything but tonight was different. He knew I would turn the heads of many guys. For the first time in his life, Bram thought that a woman finally had the capability to make him sweat. He had to work hard. He knew he would be running a competition with many other men. How could he ever win at that race? Then he remembered it was impossible. It was impossible for me not to choose him. He was perfect. He told me, "You look amazing m i amor." I smiled knowing Bram was of Spanish heritage. I myself knew a little Spanish from the days I took Spanish class while doodling on a note pad, picking up all the Spanish I could hear. I responded, "De nada." He told me he would say "Igualmente." But the way I looked Bram felt like he wasn't even dressed for the occasion.

I didn't understand Bram when he said Igulamente. For Christ's sake, just because I knew one word in Spanish didn't mean I could hold a conversation. He reminded me he was Spanish but it was obvious by his strong looks and his sexy accent, when he put it on. I smiled as I told him how I too had Spanish decedent in my family history. I told him about all the ridiculous Spanish classes my family made me take so I could learn the language. I thought the easiest way to learn was to associate myself around Latinos in my school so I can get to learn the language when I could. Bram told me we never did start off on the right foot so he thought it was time to introduce ourselves to each other, this time in Spanish. He wanted to test my skills and I gave it a try just for the heck of it.

I shook his hand proudly as I said, "Mi llama Aliyah, y tu?"

He replied, "Me llamo Bram."

I replied, "Mucho gusto."

He joked about how the first time I met him I didn't seem pleased to meet him at all. I told him to forget the past. It was a new beginning. I was trying to get myself acquainted with him so now I could finally be pleased to meet him.

We went downstairs and asked me if I wanted to catch a taxi. Bram wasn't a driver. He preferred to be chauffeur driven and though he was wealthy he didn't believe in spending his money foolishly on a driver to drive an expensive car he himself would never really use. I told Bram he was too kind but I preferred to walk, now knowing that my job wasn't too far from my house. Plus the drive would only rush things between Bram and me . I wanted a conversation. I wanted to catch up on things, to know the story of his life. Bram was surprised, asking if I wasn't afraid of the streets at the midnight hours. I replied, "Why should I be? I have you to protect me unless you are going to leave me." I feel that with a vampire on my side I am well protected. Bram laughed as he explained he would never leave me. In fact, that thought would never cross his mind. He came way too far to turn back. I gave him a headache for me to just accept his invitation to a dinner it was almost impossible for him to get up and leave. I told him I was bold. I didn't fear the streets but I taunted him that he was the one afraid of the dark, not me.

Bram said he overcame fear a long time ago, that it wasn't a feeling to him anymore. He didn't feel the human emotions I felt. I wondered what emotions he felt then, if he wasn't afraid, if he didn't feel the same I as I did? Unfortunately, his reply was that he felt no emotion. I smiled as I thought that was impossible for him not to feel anything at all because if he had no emotions I believe he would have never had an attraction for me. He urged me to reason that he could still be attracted to me and not feel any emotion. But he told me that his real question was can he ever feel genuine love for me? I didn't know the answer but I knew he would find it within himself and soon know he would be able to answer his own question. Maybe he would never know the answer. I thought at times people misconceived the word "love" . I felt at times because of my loneliness it should be emotions that should be ignored. Love brought hurt, it brought pain and tears at the end of the day. It also brought damage to the lives of others.

Bram agreed with me when I told him people misconceived what love meant but he didn't agree that love hurt. It didn't bring damage , in fact he told me that love never wanted to hurt the other person. It is true relationship these days were built out of lust. That was why I thought even my mom's relationships crumbled so quickly. People lost interest too quickly. They never wanted to sit down and fix things, rekindle the flames that were once there. Failure to try meant a broken relationship at the end. I felt that if people sat down and assessed how they really felt about the other person before making a commitment, they would know if they really were in love or just infatuated. I felt if people really loved each other then it was worth taking the time to know the other person who they claimed they wanted to be with. That thought made me think if Bram ever loved or even cared for a woman. Bram looked at me with sincere eyes as he said, "Yes, I did in Chicago." I couldn't believe he was from Chicago. This had to be Jeff 's friend I was suppose to meet . He explained he was raised in Chicago, then making the decision to move to The Big Apple four months ago. He told me he cared for her. In fact, he could have strongly loved her. He told me how she was a strong woman perhaps she was too strong because she wanted to do everything by herself which cost them their relationship. He felt like a fool to try to make her his wife. He was raised to respect everyone he encountered. He felt as though women deserved to be treated as a queen so that's why he treated her as if she was one. He told me how he felt like the relationship wasn't based on true emotions on her part but was more sexual. It was always what he could do for her and the different ways he could please her. Bram told me I shouldn't get him wrong, he believed a woman should experience the pleasure she desired from a man but it was deeper than that, he wanted more. He wanted a woman to strengthen his inner self, to build a future with, to support his goals, to be a team, someone who desired to help.

He told me about his high expectations of a woman to embrace womanhood, one who will help cook and clean if it wasn't all the time but sometimes. He was understanding that wasn't everyone's forte but he accepted her for who she was without complaining. He desired to be that gentleman to tell her "don't worry about doing work". He wanted his woman to relax and he would take care of her. He wished he tried but he blamed himself for not seeing she wasn't wife material to begin with. When he met her he told me he was just twenty two but he knew for a young man he had a stable mind. I was surprised because most men don't get stable in their minds until they're about thirty. He wasn't the type to be into one night stands though his friends did it. He never wanted to hurt Toya. He was serious about her enough to think they had something going on but in reality they didn't. She was the woman of his life. He had no other woman. He dreamed about but her, despite that she was evil and conning.

Bram was a good looking man. He had other girls that want him. He didn't feel like he was the perfect guy. He told me on occasions he found himself looking at other woman because he was a guy but that never ruined his respect for Toya for he never did that in front of her. He promised that if he ever touched a woman he would never use them because of the pain his mother went through. Bram knew it wasn't easy being a woman and have to deal with the stress a man brings to the table. With that, he vowed to be different since was young he said to me. He withdrew from having sexual intercourse though it hurt him to do so. He felt like he was douche bag, a jerk towards her but he had to stop. Doing so would have hurt him more he said to continue to live in lies. He wanted to make no more excuses. He felt as if he was wrong. This was personal. I felt his pain as he told me this but the confession that hurt the most is that she was awesome in bed. Would I be awesome in bed? But at least I gave him his props for respecting Toya enough not to touch her when he did not love her.