Analgesia

A/N: I have very mixed feelings about whether I like this or not, but here you go.

***

Unsurprisingly, the straw hats had gotten themselves into yet another predicament. And unsurprisingly, they ended up having to fight their way out of it—or, rather, their captain decided that they would do it that way.

That being said, their current enemies turned out to be a lot stronger than they looked. Regardless, most of the straw hats didn't seem to have a problem fighting their respective opponents—most. Keira was one of those who was having some difficulty with her opponent. It wasn't necessarily that this guy was stronger than her, but he was fast and that made it incredibly difficult for her to land a blow. She had landed a few kicks and punches here and there. She could tell that he was starting to tire out. If she kept at this long enough, he would tire out enough that it would become easier to land hits on him, but she didn't have time for that. So she went with what she thought would be the best course of action: she left herself wide open. And just as she had planned, he thrust sword right through her abdomen. But before he could use his speed to his advantage to back away quickly, possibly winning the fight, she wrapped her hand around the sword, the blade digging into her palm and the inside of her fingers. Her opponent's eyes widened at the sudden action. She walked forward, the sword pushing deeper into her torso. Once she was close enough, she landed a punch right on his sternum, hard enough to both wind him and send him flying far enough that made her sure that he would be unconscious.

Her eyes held the same apathetic look and her breath remained steady as she looked down at her bloody hand and the sword sticking out of her midsection.

"I should probably go see Chopper about this," she said aloud to herself. She made her way toward where she knew the ship had been left. Once she got close enough to see that Chopper was there, along with most of the crew, she shouted for him.

"Keira," he said frantically as he ran toward her.

"Hey, there," she said, her voice monotonous. "I seem to have gotten a sword stuck in me." And then she passed out.

She woke up days later in Chopper's medical room. She yawned and rubbed her eyes before sitting up in bed and stretching a bit.

"No!" She heard Chopper shout. "Don't do that!" He said as he pushed her back down to lay on the bed. "You'll open your stitches!" She huffed in annoyance but complied. "Okay," he said with a nod. "I'll tell Sanji to bring you some food." With that, the small reindeer exited the room, leaving Keira to stare blankly at the ceiling.

She didn't look at the door as she heard it open and someone come in. She knew who it was. She found it strange that he wasn't hovering over her, swooning, and asking if she was alright, but she didn't really care. She sighed and turned her head away from the blond. She heard the sound of a plate being set on a table that sat next to her head, but she still didn't turn her head.

"You need to eat," he said. She heard shuffling and the flick of a lighter followed by the smell of smoke. She didn't respond.

"Keira," he said. He grabbed her chin with his left hand and turned her head to face him. Her eyes met his; his eyes held a pleading look, while hers remained blank and emotionless.

"Don't feel like it," she told him. He let go of her face. She watched him remove the cigarette from his mouth, the smoke escaping his mouth as he sighed. He kept the cigarette between his fingers as he placed his arm over his eyes. He stayed like that for almost a minute. Then he set the cigarette back between his lips, letting his arm fall beside him.

"Dammit, Keira. Do you have a death wish or something?" He asked her.

"Not really," she said, turning her head to face the ceiling. Sanji held back a growl. God, how this woman frustrated him to no end.

"But I wouldn't care if I died," she added. "I don't see why it matters," she said as an afterthought.
Sanji's hands balled up into fists and his teeth bit down on his cigarette causing it to break and fall on the floor of the medical room.

"I think you're making a much bigger deal about this than it is," she said. "I was hurt, yea. And I was bleeding. But so what? It wouldn't be the first time that it's happened."

As she said that Sanji felt his patience shatter. That was it. That was the last straw for him.

"Goddamit, Keira. Stop acting as if what happened was nothing! You almost died!" He shouted at her. "Chopper said that the sword almost pierced one of your lungs! You were bleeding so much that he barely started a transfusion in time. You goddamned reckless idiot!"

Keira's eyes widened briefly at the last part. Had Sanji really just called her, a woman, an idiot? Did this really upset him so much that he cast aside his chivalry? Why? She wondered.

"Just because you don't feel any pain," he continued, "doesn't mean that you can't bleed or break your bones. And it sure as hell doesn't mean that you can't fucking die. Stop being so damn careless with your life. It's selfish to everyone on this ship and to everyone who cares about you—it's selfish to me. Do you know how scared I was when I saw you?" Keira scoffed and sat up abruptly, turning to face the cook, her eyes portraying no emotion.

"I'm selfish?" She questioned. "What about you? Blablabla, 'my feelings will be hurt if you die'. What about me?" She asked, her eyes flickering with emotion for a split second as her voice rose. She paused as she reigned herself in, bringing her voice back to its usual monotonous tone. "What about how I feel? Don't act like you have the right to tell me how I should value my life. You have no idea what it's like to be in my position." She hissed the last part.

"How can I when you act emotionless all the time?" Sanji told her softly. Keira bit her lip and looked away. She knew that he was right and that it made it unfair for her to lash out at him like that. But still—
Sanji placed his hands on either side of her face, tilting her head upward to secure eye contact.

"Tell me how you feel," he told her. Keira was silent for some time as she fished for the right words.

"I feel, I feel—," she began, "I feel like I'm something that's broken. Like I was born the wrong way. And worst of all, I feel so damn powerless because I can't do anything about any of this. I can't turn it on and off. I can't choose to feel pain sometimes and not at other times. I feel out of place. Like I'm a freak." Her voice had gone down to a whisper at the end.

"Keira," Sanji said. "You do know that you're on a crew with a bunch of weirdos right? We have a talking reindeer, a cyborg, and a living skeleton. You're not out of place here. You fit in perfectly. And you shouldn't feel like there's something wrong with you either. You are different, but that's not a bad thing. You're perfect as you are."

He watched the anger in her eyes die down and grinned.

"Why the hell are you smiling?" She asked him.

"I'm just happy to see that you really do have emotions," he answered. "I was scared you didn't for a while."
Keira couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips. She felt so relieved now. So much lighter. Like a burden had been lifted off of her shoulder.

"Thank you," she told him.

"Always," he said, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. When he pulled away, he noticed the red that was suddenly seeping out of her shirt.

"Ahhh!" He shouted. "Keira-chwan~! You're bleeding!"

She looked down to see her pale blue shirt with a red stain on it that was only growing. She placed her hand on it and saw it covered in blood when she removed it.

"Oops," she said nonchalantly. "I seem to have opened up my stitches."

Just as she finished, Sanji had slammed the door open and started shouting for Chopper, running around the deck shouting about how his beloved "Keira-chwan" needed immediate medical attention. Keira smiled for the first time in a long time. Maybe there was more to the blond cook than meets the eye, she thought.