A Fallen Rose

There was once a girl named Rose. She was small in figure; she had long raven-colored hair, a smooth white skin that was almost pale, a button nose and small pink lips. Her eyes were strange, and different, but as beautiful as the bright moon. Some say that her eyes held the weepy night sky in them as her eternally tearful eyes were the color of the blue sky covered in the night's darkness; glistening with stars owing to the everlasting tears in her eyes.
             Though she was a kind, shy and gentle person, she was an unfortunate girl, bringing only misfortune to herself and other people, so much that even her family would not want to deal with her. While her three brothers and sister lived in the upper floor with her parents, she lived a small miserable room under the stairs. However, she was a simple soul. Never had she complained about anything, and was happy for her siblings. Even when they would all shout and scream at her for being a curse in this world. Consequently, for the longest time, she had actually believed them. She would blame herself whenever anything bad happens, whether it was in school, at home, or anywhere else.
             Years have passed as she lived the same way. She was either degraded and avoided or even forgotten by her family and everyone else, or mercilessly blamed and bullied for everything that might have went wrong in their life. Yet, she never failed to put on a smile, no matter how sad or upset she might have felt.
             When she turned 15, she had just started her freshmen year at high school. She was mistreated by many, and forgotten about by most. No guy would look at her and no girl wanted to be her friend but she had done her best to not let it bring her down. Instead she had convinced herself that everyone would be better off without her in their life, and created a world in her head to get lost in and started to write down her adventures in a little black journal.
             The first couple of semesters passed with her not being acknowledged by anyone. Until one day as her eyes wondered around the classroom they landed on the eyes of a boy with devilishly good looks, hazel-colored eyes, and light brown hair from the corner of the classroom. He looked at her and smiled. For the first time in her life somebody was looking at her without the hint of distaste in their eyes. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she looked down, away from his eyes. She was both shocked and embarrassed, she could not lift her eyes up again for the entire class.
             Many days passed and in every class, their eyes would land on each other. He would smile, and she would shy away until both of them reached a certain point of comfort. Then it changed from the boy simply smiling at her, into him trying to get her to laugh. He would make some silly movements with his hands or make funny faces at her, and she would giggle, and then blush whenever she sees his satisfactory smile for making her laugh.
             Time flew by, and she had migrated from her seat that was in the middle of the classroom, to the corner of the classroom in front of the boy who she later found out his name was Julian. They had become good friends. Julian would take her to meet his other friends, and she would just fade into the background. Rose tried to decline his incessant invitation as she was not good with people, but he would force her to meet all his friends and try to get her to be friends with them as well. Everybody liked him, and everybody wanted to be Julian's friend. He was quite popular in school and she did not really know how she felt about that, except feeling overwhelmed.
             When both of their families knew about them being close, they were outraged at the idea of them being a couple because of an old unbreakable religious oath. Julian's family would swear on disowning him, and her family would promise to forbid her from leaving the house ever again. Even though they were not a couple, it had made sure that there was no room for it in the future, and so they simply learned to become best friends only.
             They started to go out together in group hang outs. She would fade into the background as usual and watch as Julian took over the whole hang out with his amazing presence and persona. When they hung out, he would ask her to do things with him, but she would always decline saying that she was bad luck, and he would always force her and things turn out great. Until a time where he told her that she was his good-luck charm. It was the first time she had ever heard anyone say to her. They walked by a small shop with loads of stuff, including dream catchers, keychains, and friendship rings, necklaces and bracelets. He bought two rings for the both of them and put one on her finger and the other on his, saying that it was for them to always remember that they're best friends forever. She smiled brightly as she looked at the ring. He was the light in her darkness. When nobody ever noticed her, he did. When nobody wanted to be around her, he did. When nobody wanted to speak to her, he did for hours. In her misfortune, she found him, and believed that she was being rewarded by the universe for her patience. She loved being around him. Even in school, she found herself looking for him, and watching him from afar as she enjoyed watching him smile. However, there was always a hint of disbelief and insecurity in her heart when it came to him.
             A year had passed and they became the best of friends. Completely inseparable. Even when they were not together, they would text all day and all night. They had learned everything about one another, it reached a point where they both realized one thing about each other. He was a boy that stole the heart of other girls, and she was untouched by any man. On his birthday, he asked one thing of her, and that was that he would be the first to kiss her. She was hesitant, if anyone found out and somehow reached their families, it would be catastrophic, but given that it was his birthday, and she cared more about him than any promise, she did not want to turn him down, and so she kissed him.
             The kiss ignited a simple but powerful spark between them. It felt like it was meant to be, and without realizing it, they kissed again, softly and deeply. One thing led to another, and as the moon went higher up in the sky, Julian took Rose in a heated collision, sweetly, softly, and passionately. For her it felt like time had stopped, that nothing matters except the way their sweating bodies were blended as if they were one.
             The next morning was when they first realized that what they were feeling for each other was more than just friends, but since they both knew they had no future. they tried to push all romantic feelings away, though it was hard. Things escalated between them over the weeks, and the forbidden became a blessing, so turned their little meeting behind the sheets of their beds into a regular thing. However, they had sworn on themselves that it would not let it affect their relationship, and would pretend like nothing was happening between them outside the bedroom walls.
             Although she thought they were best friends and even closer than family, she had always believed that he had saved her from a life of loneliness and emptiness, she would not dare to upset him, and she felt like she owed it to him to make him happy. So even when he did the things that bothered her. she would not dare to say a word. She would support him in everything that he wanted to do or wanted to have. Not realizing that it was not simply because she felt like she owed it to him, but also because of her feelings for him.
             Rose found herself battling her heart every day as Julian would come around with a new girl under his arm every night, showing absolutely no signs that he has any feelings for her despite everything that he said when they were alone. She would question if he was actually a very good actor, or did he not love her the way she thought he did.
             Every night when Rose goes back home after school, she gets ridiculed by her family, and kicked out of the room as they still believed that she was a cursed child, she would lock herself in her room, unconsciously eager for tomorrow to come, just so that she can see him again. Even with her doubts about him, and the pain he causes her, she would hold the ring on her finger, her night blue eyes would smile from her cheeks as she falls asleep with his image circling her mind.
             On some nights, when Julian was not out with some girl, he would come for her, and on occasion sneak her out of her house, and would just sit in a close by park, and talk into the night. It made her feelings for him grow, and that always meant more trouble. The next few times they all enjoyed a night out, Rose was not one of them. With Julian staring at his new girl and kissing her and touching her in front of Rose, she could not help but feel extremely broken.
             Whenever Julian noticed that Rose was upset with him, he would make sure to come to her later at night. He would cuddle up with her even when she resisted, and would apologize for neglecting her. Hesitantly, she would tell him that she just felt a little jealous seeing him with another girl. Though she never told him that she was actually in love with him. All he knew was that she liked him, as he liked her. He explained that he needed a girl to show off to his family, otherwise they would forbid him to see Rose. Rose nodded with a face full of sadness as the world stood against her happiness once again.
             A night came upon the sky, and Rose, Julian and all of their friends went to a party. Julian was with no girl this time, and Rose had a wonderful time for the first time. They all enjoyed time together as friends. When Rose and Julian ended up alone, Rose, without realizing it, confessed all her feelings to Julian. She did not know whether to blame the drinks they had, or that her heart could not handle the pressure anymore. All she knew was that she had spilled her heart to him, and suddenly became quite vulnerable. Her beautiful, teary eyes were growing in plea as he waited for him to return her love, saying that he will fight for them no matter the cost and in spite of what their families would do, but alas, he never did.
             What he told her was that he cared for her very much, that he did love her; just not the same way. He explained to her how he was not a relationship kind of person. He did not know how to commit, but he did not want to lose her friendship. She was heartbroken, devastated to hear these words come out his mouth, and after a couple of minutes of him speaking, she turned numb. Nonetheless, after talking for quite a while, even when her existence in his life meant more heartache for her, because of her feeling for him, she was easily persuaded when he made her promise to stay in his life because he felt like he needed her
             Although they tried to keep their friendship clean, it did not take long before they were back to their old ways, meeting in each other's bedroom every other night. Rose did not like how their relationship was, she detested feeling like a tramp, like any other girl that Julian was into that night but as she listened to Julian's charming words night after another, she was convinced that she was different to him. That though he sees other girls, she was the only one he truly cared for.
             Rose was no idiot, she knew that their relationship was not healthy, she knew that them being together this way would cause enough anguish for more than one lifetime, but she just could not resist. She found herself unable to distinct herself from him, even if she was the one who got miffed. Shamefully, she felt like she had no control over it.
             Years have passed until they both graduated from high school, still in each other's lives, and with the same intact relationship that displayed them as best friends in public and as impermanent lovers in the bedroom. They had many fights and arguments because of their situation. Rose would get green-eyed when she sees Julian with other girls, completely jealous and envious of the girls that stole kisses from him night after night, and he would be frustrated as he could not do anything about she and him not having a future, and he was not going to put his life on hold.
             It all but stretched to a certain point where Rose tried her very best not to compare herself with the other girls he saw. She tried with all her might to believe that she was different to him, and that if fate would permit it, he would be hers, and hers alone. Regrettably, that could not last very long.
             Julian's family had found a perfect girl to fit him through marriage and a happy life, they had done everything they can to set them up and convince Julian to meet her. While Julian protested, and wanted to just live his own life without any interference from his family, wanting to silently stand by Rose, it was not long before they had finally swayed him.
             Many months passed with Julian meeting both girls on different occasions. He would be there for Rose as her best friend and intimate lover, yet he would also meet the other girl named Beth as a future partner in life. Rose would try to avoid everything that could remind her of that sad truth. She had even fought with Julian a few times because of him not standing with her. But what else could he do? There was nothing. All he could do was show her that the only one who has his heart was Rose.
             Then the worst had arrived. The one thing that Rose dreaded more than anything. The thing that she could not handle. the dark stingy cloud that hovered above Rose and broke her heart to a million more pieces. Julian had fell in love with the other girl. Rose was destroyed, her soul was demolished and her glistening eyes went pitch black. She found out after spending a couple of nights with Julian and saw that he treated her differently. Horrifyingly, she spent most of her nights crying herself to sleep, and if she was not crying, then she was feeling empty. Julian had plunged his fist into Rose's chest, and stole what little of his heart that he gave to her, and then gave it to Beth.
             A few nights later, Rose and Julian had to talk about Beth, is she going to end their affair, or will Julian still favor Rose. That notion could not last for more than ten minutes before Rose realized that he truly did love Beth, and unfortunately, he informed her that he loved her even more than Rose.
               Though Rose was torn apart inside, her pure and better nature, wanted him to be happy, and decided to step aside and set him free from her and into Beth's arms. However, Beth travels a lot, so she is barely in the country. It gave Rose a little hope that she might not have to forbid herself from seeing Julian so soon, that there was a chance that she would still spend some precious private moments with him before she was no more to him than another friend.
             Furthermore, their relationship was affected as Julian and Beth became more serious. They became serious enough to plan to get married as soon as they can, and what was even more surprising, Julian had stopped seeing other girls because of his feeling for Beth. He was able to commit to her even though he claimed that he cannot. Rose felt like she was falling into an endless pit of darkness. Julian had never loved her this much despite of what he said about commitment. She learned that her role in Julian's life seemed completely inexistent. She felt like he does not need her in his life anymore, she wallowed in darkness as her fears of being an actual unfortunate, cursed child came true, she was never lucky enough to have the love of the man she loved, and they both stopped seeing each other late at night. The once good-luck charm had finally broken.
             After a few months, Julian and Rose became simply friends again, Julian would always talk about his love for Beth and was completely unaware of Rose's agony as she tried to put on the very best false smile she could muster, focus on how his happiness is the one thing that mattered to her, and just be there for him as the friend he needed. Until one night when Julian sneaked up to Rose's bedroom, and saw her crying herself to sleep. He lunged at her, crushing her between his arms, kissing her all over, and told her just how much he loved her. He apologized about a hundred times for never being able to commit to her, and for the lack of romantic future between them. Rose wanted to express all of her feelings to him, except Julian seemed to have another thing on his mind, he seemed quite troubled. Rose's devoted heart could not let it pass, and whatever she was feeling at that moment simply did not matter to her, so she pleaded for him to tell her.
             Reluctantly, Julian told her about his problem with Beth. He wanted to wait until marriage before sleeping with Beth, but it was hard for him. Rose did not know if it was because of the lack of purpose to stay in his life, or her desperate attempt for him to need her, however, feeling like she finally found a reason to stay in his life, no matter how objectifying it was, she decided to help him. She suggested that he could use her to extinguish his inner desires. Stimulated by her fidelity towards him, he took her into an endless night of gratification.
             The days went on with Rose giving Julian everything she could. Nevertheless, Julian was not a selfish person. He would tell her everyday how beautiful, amazing and brave she was. How he cannot imagine his life without her. Rose, unfortunately, was not intrigued; she was still spiraling out of control. She felt that his words were empty. How could he love her, and love another person? Julian, sensing what she must have been thinking, tried to reassure her that he did love her, and if the universe would have let them have their way, then she was the one he would be planning to marry. He spoke many words of love and passion. It lit a glimmer in Rose's eyes, and she then recognized why she wanted to be in his life, she had always wondered her life reason, and she finally understood what it was. It was because she wanted to see him content. And if Beth is the reason he is happy, then Rose's job was done.
             One night came upon the blissful sky and Rose sat in her room, clenching her chest. Julian was visiting Beth in another country, and for Rose it felt like she was aching all over, she wanted to be with him. The image of him being with Beth, ate her up inside. It ached so much she could not move. All she could do was lay on her bed and wait for his return.
             When Julian was back, she noticed there was something different about him. He was somehow even more deeply in love with Beth. He would barely have any time for Rose, and they could rarely see each other. Rose could not handle it, she wanted to see him. She wanted to understand the reason there was a difference between them. They both sat together one night, as Julian looked into Rose's eyes and shared with her the truth about his intimacy with Beth as he had finally connected with her in a whole new marital level. That piece of news obliterated what was left of the light Rose's eyes, but she did not show it, nor did she want to. He was happy, that all what mattered. She smiled a brilliantly fake smile, gave him a warm embrace and told him that she was happy for him. She could not eat, nor sleep for days. She felt lost, and more alone than she ever felt before.
             A day had come when Julian announced to everyone that his wedding will be in a few weeks' time. Only family and close friends were invited, which practically meant Rose as well. But there was no way she would be attending. Aside from it being awkward, strange and, painful to see him wed another girl, Rose had already made a specific plan for that day.
             The next few weeks featured a lot of Rose and Julian seeing each other, and though Julian never seen Rose unhappy when they met, he still felt like something was going on. Rose was unnaturally happy with him, and was more persistent than ever to never talk about anything that would upset their mood. Till the last few days before the wedding, where It felt like Rose was saying goodbye.
             The day came when the blessed day of Julian and Beth's wedding. The families were happily seated, and close friends were unable to hide their excitement for the bride and groom. Julian's smile would not leave his handsome face as he looked as his beautiful bride walking up the aisle. He looked around the room, scanning for a familiar face, but he could not find it. Rose did not attend. She was busy putting a small note on her bed with one word written for Julian.

Sorry

             The bride and groom stood next to each other as they said their vows, while Rose was about to settle a vow she had made on her own as she reached a crossing bridge between two way streets and started to climb. They placed the rings in their fingers, while Rose took off the once-friendship ring she had and dropped it from the giant bridge. Julian and Beth said their I dos and kissed each other as husband and wife, while Rose climbed up the bridge railings. Julian smiled at his new wife, completely oblivious to the fact that he would never be able to smile at Rose ever again as she turned, raised her arms and slowly fell backwards onto the busy street.
             As she fell, her last thoughts were of Julian. His smile, his handsome face, and her love for him that made her do this. He was finally happy, he did not need an anchor like Rose, pulling him down where he could be flying. The bride and groom got in their car about to set off for their honeymoon, as Rose's teary eyes closed and her face cracked a simple smile as the last existing piece of her heart shattered, echoing away in her soul like an empty vessel.