haikyuu!! one shots

Oikawa Tooru // What a Feeling

The nights were cold. The days felt unbearable without you around.

He tries to watch you with those brown eyes of his, but something keeps on blocking him from you. He never liked the idea of having a long distance relationship. He doesn't know if he can make it.

Assorted thoughts have been running through his mind for as long as he could remember. He doesn't want to overthink, just like you tell him to, but his mind doesn't want to obey his will.

The thought of being not worthy for you is always in his head. Once in a while he would feel awful, he couldn't help but think that he's being selfish for keeping this up.

He wished he could be there now, where you are probably sleeping with your toes curled up, or where you are wide awake because of your 2 am thoughts. If you are passed out on your desk, he wished he could watch you with his brown eyes for a good two minutes before he would carry you to your own bed. Quietly placing your soft blanket on top of you because you get cold easily. Then stare at your sleeping face again because he would never get tired of it. He thinks it's cute even when you sleep with your hair all over the place, or your mouth slightly open, then giving your forehead a kiss.

He wished he could be there, when you're having a bad day because you've suffered the ultimate humiliation at work, so he could run to your house, or maybe drive a car, getting you all your favorite chocolates you probably still have on your refrigerator, to lift up your mood. Then pulling you out of your room to drive you around, get some fresh air, and anywhere you wanted to go to relieve your stress.

But he ran out of time.

Not once or twice, he's not able to be there for you, when you need shoulders to lean on because you're having a bad day at the office. He felt terrible when he called you at times, you would be completely honest with your feelings, he liked that side of you, really. But at the same time, he felt like he's taking you for granted. I'm no good for her.

Dating someone famous could be troublesome for you, you never thought that you would get into that kind of world. But it changed when Oikawa got into that world.

It would be worse when in the future the media found out, and it wouldn't be a long time before that. He knew that much.

On the other hand, it doesn't really matter to you, you could wait and endure it. He's constantly being reminded about it, to not worry about the slightest thing.

A knock was heard upon your door. You hissed when your feet made contact with the freezing floor, then make your way towards the door. You flinched when the door was pushed open. He is standing there, with an umbrella in his hand, in front of your apartment door.

"Hey, [y/n]," he smiled weakly, something in his eyes told you something's just not right, "can I come in?"

You blinked, not sure. "Yeah, sure." Then, he just walked in, his eyes not staring at yours anymore.

What a feeling to be right here beside you now.

"You didn't tell me you're back." Back from his work, his tour, or anything else it could be.

He usually tells about him getting back in town. He would call you, or maybe send you a text, being all excited to meet up with you after days. But days became weeks, then it turned into months.

"I'm sorry." He simply replied, he felt bad, and even worse when he remembered the purpose of him going to your place.

He keeps looking on the floor, you wondered why, "Is something wrong?" You asked.

"I- I need to say something." He hesitated. You told him to go on, feeling real uneasy, because the look on his eyes could tell.

"I'm sorry." He repeats.

You bit your lips.

"[y/n], these past times, I've been choosing my job over you, we didn't meet for months," he said, "I don't know, I think we should,"

Oikawa breathed, you could see pain reflecting in his brown eyes, filled with emotion, "call it quits." He looked down, tears dropping to the ground as he sobs.

You cried, your own hand wiping your tears. Oikawa had to fight the urge to pull you into his chest, seeing you cry driving him insane. He can't hold you too close right now, he doesn't have the rights to. He wanted to kill himself for being the reason that you cried. But he couldn't be more selfish, for holding you back.

Yet another Oikawa one shot.. someone stop me.

I think I'll post an alternate ending for this one shot. OTL