Story of my Life

My Life

In order to know how to love you must first experience loss because you never know how much you love someone until you've lost them. You may be wondering how I know about all of this and that's exactly what I'm going to tell you but we have to travel a little bit back into my past for you to truly understand that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

It all started back in he fifth grade there was this one really cute guy in my class that I had a huge crush  but I was to shy and afraid to ever tell him plus I was a so called on and off again relationship with a really short asshole that would aim he loved me but whenever his friends would ask if we were dating he'd change his attitude towards me very quickly. As time went on me and the really cute guy became great friends but I never showed my true feelings for him. We finally graduated from fifth grade together and stayed friends but once we were in middle school we lost touch and stopped talking.

Sixth grade is when the bullying started, people would make fun of my weight, and call me ugly and I eventually started believing everything they said and I hit my low point on life. I pushed away my friends, ended those friendships, and started cutting that's right I'm a cutter go ahead and judge me like everyone else. By the time I officially given up on life and was literally planning my suicide out in my head I met two very persistent and more often than not annoying girls and their names were Kara and Skyler. They pulled me back to reality and we became the best of friends.

Now were just going to skip seventh grade because there's nothing really important in that part of my past except for Kara moving to Greenville and the loss putting back into my depression but I still had Skyler so that kept me from going over the edge. Eighth grade really isn't important to this story until graduation where I caught up to the really cute guy from fifth grade, now I'm sure you want to know why I haven't told you his name well that's because his name wasn't really important until now and his name is Chris. Now meeting up with him at the graduation was the worst thing that could've happened to me because even though we hadn't talked at all until then I still had feelings for him but of course I never told him.

This is where everything in my life went completely downhill because on the first day of freshmen year I found out that Chris and Skyler were dating and that was all it took to completely brake me. I started pushing them away,started cutting again, and I tried to commit suicide at least three different times but obviously my attempts failed or I wouldn't be writing this now. As usual right before I could succeed in my fourth suicide attempt I got a text from Kara telling me that she was moving back and was going to my school. It was just the thing I needed to bring me back from the pit of despair and I dropped the open pill bottle and cried myself to sleep on the bathroom floor. Things started getting better for me I got my best friend back, Skyler broke up with Chris which I really shouldn't have been happy about because he stopped hanging out with us and got a new crazy ass girlfriend and I had lost my chance again but as long as Chris and Skyler weren't dating I was happy.

Finally were getting close to the present but we're not there yet. Before the end of freshman year I had Started Dating one of my old friends and his name was Zack but the only reason I had even started ting Zack was to get my mind off of Chris and of course that back fired on me because I was still in love with Chris but I started to actually fall for Zack so I kept up my little charade to keep everyone and myself happy and it worked until school started back in August.

When school started I had twelve new scars on the first day because of the simple fact that I wasn't happy with my relationship but I didn't want to be alone and eventually I got over it but I went right back to being depressed and suicidal within a couple of months because I had to help Chris the guy I'm in love with get Skyler back because he was in love with her. Welcome to the love triangle we've been expecting you and if you're wondering if I tried to commit suicide over all this I didn't Skyler wouldn't leave my side long enough for me to even try. Chris and Skyler got back together thanks to me at her birthday party and lasted until just after Christmas break when her heartless bitch ass broke up with him over a text now if you think I was broken before you should've seen me then because Chris blamed me for their break up. I already know what your thinking and yes I went back to cutting but I never stopped loving him. Skyler then proceeded  to confuse all of her friends including herself because she would complain about Chris being all up on her but five minutes later be kissing him. It's literally been and endless cycle of her breaking him and him breaking me.

We are finally in the present where I finally got the courage to tell Chris how I felt. I broke up with Zack because I still wasn't happy. Chris and I are dating now and I know he's the love of my life. You see all the pain I suffered brought the man I love into my life and I know he feels the same. This is why its better to have loved and lost than to have lost and never loved.