Now or Never Extras (SLOW UPDATES)

Kota and the Bookstore

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A/N: For those that read my one shot "Now or Never" here is a little recap since I wrote that so long ago ;)

Sang saw Kota with a pretty brunette at the bookstore in a not so friendly embrace. After Sang leaves Kota, along with the other boys, run upstairs to see what was left on their beds.

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I trip over myself trying to get to the box on my bed. I unwrap it - a smile escapes, "I knew it, 10 is the one that took my shirt." I remember being so confused when she put 52 above my heart, "Why did you do that Sang?" Blushing she replied, "because it's your number...I put it over your heart so you won't ever forget how much I love you." I don't think I have ever smiled so brightly. I wore this shirt practically every night before I thought I lost it.

I sigh as I lean back across my bed, holding the shirt close, my mind begins to drift back five months ago. I had just finished helping Darla, Jess' friend, out with a stalker situation and we were sitting in the Barnes & Noble waiting for her boyfriend Taylor to get off work.

"I really don't know how to thank you, Kota," Darla sighs as if the weight of the world just lifted off her shoulders, "I mean, it's finally over. The nightmare that I have lived in for the past six months is finally over."

Smiling, she turns to where her boyfriend Taylor is working behind the Starbucks counter, "We can finally move forward with our lives."

Tears tempt to spill from her eyes as she watches Taylor greet customers. "Have you ever met someone and realize your world would never be the same?" She paused looking up at me, "When you first really looked at them you knew...you just knew they were meant for you?" She continued while leaning into me as I placed my arm around her shoulder.

Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I think back to that stormy night so many years ago. "Yes, yes I have" I sigh, smiling down at Darla while my thoughts are of Sang. Realizing how much I needed her, how much I loved her.

The sense of being watched crept over me as I turned around to see if anyone was, but all I caught was an angry old man grumbling to the shadow of customer quickly turning the corner of the Mystery & Suspense row.

"Kota...lol, Kota have I lost you?" Darla giggles while waving a hand in front of my face.

"Uh, no...I just thought...nevermind" I turn back towards her.

"Is everything ok? You look a little lost all of a sudden." Darla's concern lacing her voice.

Running a hand through my hair, I sigh, "Yes..uh...everything...will be...is...fine."

She raises her left eyebrow, "Really, try saying that will a little more conviction. Seriously Kota, are you ok?"

"I will be...things are just a little....there is a lot going on right now... its...everything's just complicated at the moment," I stammer out as I rub the back of my neck with my hand while I try and force a smile. Breathe ...1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... I inwardly chastise myself.

"Okay, well I'm totally not buying that for one second. What in the world is going on with you Dakota?" Darla's eye fix on mine.

"Uh...Dakota?" I hesitantly laugh, "really...you're going to go there?"

"Well...I heard Jess calling you by your full name on the phone last week when she was mad so I figured if I used it now you would know I mean business,'" Darla's playful expression gone and in its place a stern look - one a mother might give her child when he has been caught in a lie.

"Thing is, our...er...my relationship has a lot of variables that, well, are up in the air...it's," I don't even get to finish my sentence before she cuts me off.

"Stop right there. I know all about your variables for goodness sakes! Your sister is one of my best friends and is in a relationship with three other men. One of which is my older brother, so I think I know a little bit about your variables," Darla's annoyance coming through her words.

"I see, yes, I understand...but my situation is a little bit more...complicated. Uh, a lot has happened between me and my brothers...it's kind of, well, we kind of leave this barrier up and now we don't know how to break it...well at least I don't know how" I murmur under my breath.

"So basically, what you're telling me is you messed up somehow and walls have been formed between you and oh whats her name again...oh yes, Sang."

"Well yes, I guess that's exactly what happened. Although it is not entirely our fault..." I try to explain but I am quickly cut off, yet again.

Darla raises her hand to my face, "Stop. Regardless of who's fault it is, the question is - do you want to make things better and make things right? Or do you want to lose, what could be, the best thing in your lives? That is what you and your brothers need to figure out." She says moderately annoyed.

Turning towards the store windows I take a deep breath, 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...and slowly exhale, "Yes...yes I do...more than anything." I slowly turn back towards Darla, "I'm not sure where everybody stands. We really haven't had much time to talk about it together and everybody's been so busy...we just haven't made the time."

Guilt begins to fester in my stomach and slowly begins to consume me, "But...I do know I cannot imagine my life without Sang in it. She is my world, has been since the first moment I saw her standing outside in the rainstorm so many years ago," I say softly.

Sighing Darla reaches out for my hand, "you guys need to make the time if you want to know where everybody stands. You guys also need to make the time if you want to make things right with her. You are right, I don't know your situation...I don't know the details nor do I want to, but the look on your face and the pain in your eyes tell me she's important. If Sang's this important you've got to tell her, because I'm going to tell you right now women can't read your mind - we don't know what you're thinking and even if we could we need to hear from you. We need to hear what you're thinking...we need to hear what you want, what you need. Otherwise, the relationship will never work. You have variables to deal with, 9 other ones to be exact, so it's not just you and her it's you, your team, and her. Whether the 10 of you can work it out or not you all just need to sit down and make the time. I guess in the end, the thing you really have to understand and find out for yourself is - is it worth it? Is she worth the trouble and the heartache that's going to come after you sit down and talk everything out with her? Is she worth risking it all?"

I look down at Darla and look into her eyes, "She's worth all of that and more. I would give up my life if I knew she would survive and be happy."

Smiling Darla winks at me, "Well then, I think it's high time that you and your brothers have a chat to sort your situation out."

I nod to her just as Tyler comes walking over. She looks towards me one last time as she is getting up from her chair, "There's no better time than now." Reaching over to give my hand one last squeeze of encouragement.

I begin to drift back to today and I sigh once more as I lean back across my bed, holding the shirt close. I never did make the time like Darla had suggested and now it could very well be too late. A tear runs down my cheek, "What have I done."

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A/N: Soooo sorry this has taken over a year to write - I had most of it done but had to cut some (o.k. a lot) of it down as it was ending up to be way too long to be an excerpt! But you all know me by now - and it's hard for me to just write a little bit and not go too crazy!!

Also, you can now see that Kota was not behaving in the wrong. What Sang saw wasn't the whole picture - she stumbled on a situation and left before the truth was revealed :)

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