Secrecy in Words

Chapter 2

My mother can't really stop talking about the debutante ball. I really swear if she won't stop...I'll leave this house.

My grandmom would probably refer me to a physician for losing an interest with the debutante ball, but who in their right mind that just lost her sister...would go to a ball full of people she barely knows and pretend like nothing happened. My family can pretend that they don't know Alex , but I can't  because...she's my sister. I actually kind of understand their reaction towards Alex's death, because she's illigitimate, but still can't they show a little respect to the person ?

My brother Andrew once told me, that in this kind of family , they only know who the famous, popular, and great family members...If you're not one of them , then expect some cold treatment. Yeah, I know it's true because I think I'm experiencing it right now.

I know that I might be a little paranoid, but really ...if it's not for this debutant ball, do you think my mother would talk to me ?

No ...is the answer.

I heard her talking to grandmother and to dad about me being a disgrace in the family. They said that if I wasn't unconscious lying beside Alexandra ...they don't know what kind of shame I'll be bringing to them...and probably that would be the time they will disown me.

When my family found me in the woods soaking with my sister's blood...it became an outraged, that it came to the point , it was published in the newspaper.

To tell you frankly ....I don't know who to believe anymore...For a week of my recovery ...they'd been telling me lies...about Alex. Lucky for me ... I kind of recall the incident.

When I tried to state my side to the policemen ...my mother butt in that I was hallucinating , that what I'm saying is because I was stil in a state of trauma and shock.

I wasn't lying in the first place. I was the reason why Alex is dead...The bullet should be for me, not for her. I should be the one who's dead right now, but instead, she took it for me.

As always my family would never take that kind of news...they always consider theirselves as high and aristocratic.

As for me... I will go or not to that debutant ball...no one can bring my sister back to me.

I heard my mother knock....I opened it , because I don't want to hear any of her nonsense sermons. She went inside carrying a white gown with long laced sleeves and gold sequence in its waist. It was then followed by some boxes of jewelries and a big box of make-up set,,,. carried by my grandma and Mrs. Phyllis our house chamber maid...

I looked at the gown...and it was probably one of the best gowns I have ever seen. Suddenly my heart aches, for I remembered what Alex and I planned together when the ball came. We planned that, she will be the one to arrange me and when the ball finished we'll watch the Firework Display at the plaza together...eating fish and chips and sharing our experiences together.

I gave a deep sigh , wishing she was here to share this moment with me... she was my sister after all.