Tempted (#Wattys2015)

Tempted:34:

"But it's a great oppurtunity for you. It's where your dream school is...It's your favorite place on Earth."

"I'm not so sure it is anymore honestly..." I whispered, looking up at the ceiling.

"Why Bella?"

"I don't know...I mean you know that I told you before I hated this place...but that was before I had you."

"And it was before you had something to be afraid of here. It was when you had that dream and desire to after it...did I change that?"

"No Justin..." I shook my head, sliding my hands over his. "It's there...there's just other things in my life I want now. I don't know what I want anymore."

"I'm not letting you give it up Bella."

"I know you're not." I laughed, turning so I could press my face into his chest, closing my eyes at the sound of his heart beating.

Maybe it was the fact that I soon I wouldn't be able to hear this, I wouldn't be able to feel this...I was so frightened of losing him. I was scared of seeing him these last few weeks and having that be that. Afraid of getting a call that ended everything and soon heard there was another girl.

I was scared of leaving and losing touch with the people here, of changing, of him changing without me and growing apart from him.

I felt my throat burning, and I slid my arms up around his neck, feeling the first tear fall, and after that it just felt like a waterfall.

"Baby..."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, feeling his arms tighten around me.

"What's wrong?"

"I never thought I'd be so scared to leave."

"I'll be there with you for the first few days, and you know I'll be visiting you. Everyone is scared at first baby."

"But not like me. Nobody else has you and nobody else loves you like I do. Nobody has been through what we have and nobody is as scared of losing you as much as me."

"Shh..."

I think it was the first time I cried to him about him...other times I was in shock, I was afraid of Manny coming, I was afraid of so many things, but never like this. Now reality was crashing hard on me. I knew he wouldn't be visiting me every week, that was expensive, and I definitely couldn't come home every week either. We'd both have school. Our lives would slowly go from being with each other, to being separate...right?

"If anybody is afraid of losing someone, it's me losing you. I never knew what it was like to have someone to call mine...I didn't even know what love was, but you showed me and helped me find myself. You pulled me out of the darkness and gave me my family. Nothing I ever do is going to be able to thank you enough. I'm never going to be able to give you the whole world, the moon and the stars...I wish I could...but you do have my heart Bella. I'm always going to be with you no matter where you are. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

That made us both laugh, and I pulled myself back enough to wipe my eyes, then hugged him again, feeling his hand caress the back of my head while his lips pressed into my forehead.

"Well you're stuck with me too."

After sniffing for a minute, I had closed my eyes again, listening to his heart, holding him as tightly as I could to me, and fell asleep in his arms.

_____________________________________

August 13th

10:37 AM

"I'm sleepy." Bella mumbled, resting her head on my shoulder while I glanced down at her, then at Jackie and Mike across from us.

"You can go to sleep. I don't mind."

"I'm too excited." She told me while slipping her arms around my waist, scooting closer.

"Good. You deserve to be excited. I am too."

"I still can't believe you've never been to New York." Jackie said, holding onto Mike's hand at her side.

"There is a first time for everything I guess." I grinned at her, looking down at Bella again. "Like this one being 18."