Cryptic

2

The last bell finally rung which means I can finally go home. I packed all of my stuff and went to the bus stop. I put on my headphones and listened to some music while I waited, I started looking around for Luke just so that I could talk to him, as I was looking around I saw Brad talking to someone and that someone was...

Luke.

He was talking to Luke. I got kinda sad because I actually like Luke but now Brad is kinda ruining it for me. The bus finally got here and I rushed inside so that Brad wouldn't see me. i sat down on the same spot I sat this morning when Luke walked in and asked if he could sit next to me which, again, I agreed to.

"Wanna hang out today?" He asked.

"Uh yeah sure, where?"

"This guy I just met invited me over to his house with some other people and I don't want to go alone"

"Oh who's the guy?"

"His name is Brad"

"I can't go I'm sorry" I said kinda sad I had to turn him down.

"A minute ago you said you could hang out?"

"Look I just can't go okay"

"Okay what about to the park?"

"With who?"

"Just the two of us"

"Sure"

"Really!?"

"What?"

"You can't go to his house but you can go anywhere alone with me? What do you like me?" He asked being sarcastic.

"Just... I–" I sighed.

"Just what?" He asked. "I was kidding okay? I don't like you "

"I know" I said kinda heartbroken.

"oh just wanted to clear that up"

"Mhm" I said putting my headphones back on my ears and ignored him the whole ride. When I finally got home I went straight to my room.

"Hey, loser mum wants to talk to you" Matty said coming into my room and throwing a chip at my face.

I got up and went downstairs.

"You needed me?" I asked my mum.

"Why haven't you been taking the depression pills?" She asked kinda mad.

"Because they make me feel worse"

"Hazel you have to take them! The doctor said that they are gonna help, they work slow but they work" she said sounding worried.

"People make fun at me at school for having them"

She sighed. "Please just take them, for me okay?"

"Okay but if I feel bad again then I'm gonna stop"

"We'll talk to your psychologist next month okay?"

"Okay" I said and went upstairs to my room.

9:15 read my phone clock.

I sat on my desk and wrote on my diary.

Entry 2
Today I met a new guy in the bus, he is really attractive and his name is Luke, we like pretty much the same music and he's really fun to talk to. I didn't get that bullied today which was good. The bad thing is that he was talking to Brad and when we were coming back he asked me if I wanted to go to Brad's house with him which I declined so he asked me if I liked him and I do but I didn't want to tell him and he just said "don't worry I don't like you" and that killed me inside because I actually have a crush on him. Mum confronted me again with the depression pills, I have to take them every 5 hours so I have to take them in school but people make fun of me for taking them and plus they make me feel so much worse but my mum just doesn't understand that. Emily and Jade didn't go to school again, and I'm getting kinda worried because they have been avoiding me the whole time but I just hope they are okay, OH! Did I mention that they are sisters? Well if I didn't, they are sisters. I'm happy I have Luke but I really need my two best friends right now and them avoiding me isn't much help. I really hope Brad didn't tell Luke anything because I don't want him to know that I get bullied because usually people who care get worried about those things and even though I know Luke doesn't care, because no one does really, I just don't want to tell him. I have been 2 weeks clean and I'm proud this is the longest I've been clean, although my family thinks it's a month, they threw my razors away but I bought new ones and I hide them so they don't find out. My hand hurts like hell right now so I'm gonna go, bye.

I closed my book and went back to bed to listen to music until I fell asleep.

________

"Fuck" I groaned as I woke up, I checked my phone to see what time it was.

3:25 am.

"Shit" I said getting up and going downstairs for a glass of water.

I got a sleeping pill and drank it with some water and went back to sleep.

_________

"HAZEL! WAKE UP! YOU MISSED THE BUS! OH MY GOD" my mum said.

"I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!" I shouted back.

"GET READY. RIGHT. NOW." She said really pissed off at my attitude.

I got ready fast not really caring if I looked good and went downstairs to my mum's car.

"Do you even put alarms to wake up!?" She asked pissed off and she drove off.

"Yes I do I just don't hear them" I said with an attitude.

"Stop giving me attitude we're not gonna end up in good terms if you keep on acting like this! What has gotten into you!?"

"This is what the sleeping pills do to me I told you but you just don't listen"

"You can't keep on putting that as an excuse for everything"

"You just don't understand "

"I do understand "

"Oh I'm sorry but last time I checked you don't have depression and insomnia and have to deal with a pain in the butt called Matty"

"What does your brother have to do with your nasty attitude?" She said parking in front of the school.

"You know what? Yeah you're right I'm faking everything, maybe if you took some time to actually listen to me you would understand me" I said getting off the car and going into school.