Looking down through blurry eyes at my beaten up blankets gave a feeling all too familiar to me tonight, the feeling some would call "alone". I call it okay, fine, independent, unique... Those normally work as lies when my relatives mention my lack of friends. It seems as though a million miles away I can still hear them criticizing me for everything I've done, am doing, or ever will do. So yeah, I'm exceedingly "independent"... And as I trace circles with my fingers in the eyes of the colorful fabric owls looking up at me with the friendliest look I've received in all the time in my life I can remember, my mind wanders to the darker places that don't allow the lies of positive reassurance slip in. They beat me down, they tear me apart and force tears from my eyes as the emptiness in my stomach and heart eat me from the inside out.
I close my burning eyes and do what I can to calm my shaking. Slowly my dreariness lulls me to slumber and my violent thoughts leave, for now.
---
I look up with an unfamiliar smile on my face, sitting behind a oddly constructed table. My eyes are drawn across the table as I see only a figure. I try to make out their face but my heart seems to be beating so fast I'm put into euphoria; their blurry blank face screams beauty. I study the hair: "short, light and dyed... purple?" Suddenly my chair is yanked from underneath me and I'm falling, falling, falling. And somehow there's still this peculiar smile on my face.
---
Yanking myself upwards I sit in my bed, my heart still beating fast. I look around the empty room, brightened only by the light of the merely rising sun. Gathering myself, I get up and walk to the restroom, placing my hands on the countertop to hold myself standing. As I look in the mirror, the image of her strikes my mind. And for the first time in seemingly forever, looking in that mirror, I saw a faint smile looking back.
(A.N.) ~ Sorry for this being so short... I just wanted to get an intro out there and establish an idea I had. I promise future parts will prove to show much more effort and passion ((they gonna be v longer fam)) anyway thank you so much if you're reading this, and feel free to criticize the hell out of me if you want. I'll do with it what I can.
Stay street. <3
~nalo
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Lingering Still
RomanceOliver grew up alone, and now that he feels the need to be sociable, he looks around and sees everyone has already found their own groups... He lingers through each day and week longing that he'll find someone who will possibly want him around, each...
