“Kaylah! It’s not what you think, I can explain!” Deke rushed to say.
I was breaking apart inside as he approached me but unlike the first time I refused to run. I would face this head on so I could bleed out and shut my empty heart away for good this time. He tried to grab my hand but I swatted him away.
“Please Kaylah, “ He started to say but I cut him off.
“I thought you were different.” I said.
“I am, when you didn’t wear my jersey I felt rejected, I-I just needed to let loose, I n-never meant to-” I cut him off again.
“You mean this jersey?” I said holding it up.
He looked at it confused. We were drawing a crowd but I was too destroyed to care right now. “Funny story, I was coming here tonight to tell you how I felt, how I wanted to say face to face what this meant to me. You see, I wanted you to hear it from me that I wanted to give us a try. Tell you how I realized I love you too and probably always have. How special you made me feel. How safe. I was going to give you a big congratulatory kiss for your win and wear your jersey for tonight and every game from here on but I can see you’ve already gotten your kiss so she might as well have this too.” I said throwing the jersey to a surprised Tanya.
Kane looked at me with regret and sadness, “Kaylah, let m-”
“NO!” I shouted in the now silent den. I felt my brother come up behind me but I couldn’t lean on him yet or I’d crumble. “I’m done with love. Evidently it’s not for me. Save your excuses, you don’t owe me an explanation. We’re not a couple and you’re free to be with whoever you want. Just do me a favor, next time you tell someone you care about them, make sure you mean it.”
I finally let myself lean on my brother as he pulled me through the crowd. I could hear Deke trying to follow but Steven and Rick blocked his path telling him to just leave me alone. I heard Steven say, “I think you’ve done enough already. We aren’t going to let you hurt her again.” Any reply Deke might have had was lost to my ears as we exited the house, My legs gave way and Kane scooped me into his arms. I hugged him tightly around his neck only letting go after he put me into his car. The ride home was silent and Kane held my hand the whole way. I felt my heart harden with every mile that took me farther away from Deke.
Never again I said to myself. Love just isn’t in my cards. All my happily ever after dreams and fairytale endings died a quick death tonight. Valentines day, romance novels, and romantic comedies would take no more of my money or time. From today on the only love I’ll ever know and need is the love of my family, any thing else was unnecessary.
I cried it all out when I got home. I only allowed myself one night to wallow in self pity because I refused to go back to the no confidence cry baby I was a couple months ago. After I let my heart bleed all the feelings I had for Deke I felt much better. I was ready for a loveless, boyfriendless, heck maleless other than my brothers type of life. Sounds depressing right? Well it wasn’t, it was going to be rewarding because I wouldn’t ever have to cry over a guy again! That was something at least.
Chapter 7
Start from the beginning
