Aftermath

Chapter 31

"Really?" I ask quietly. "You're that guy now?"

"I'm not that guy." He protests. "I'm the man that cares about you and our family, I won't fight because it's best that way."

"Don't." I shake my head. "This is about Maverick. You just said it yourself, he's your problem. You can spin it whichever way you want but at its core this is about him."

"Listen to me." He growls in a low voice. "Everything I do, I do for you. Now I know you care about him, and I'm doing the right thing by staying away from him." I try to turn away but he gets my attention again. "Rachel if I see him I'll hurt him and I know that's not what you want."

I take it in for a second. I guess in a way he's right. But if he's not going to retire then where the hell does that put us? If it's about me and the baby then he wouldn't dare go back to the field.

"I hate when you cry." He tells me, and I sniffle. "I know I'm an ass."

"Only sometimes." I say softly. "Please move."

"Come on baby." He tries, taking his arm off the wall. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." I tell him, walking over to the couch and sitting down.

It's not even a minute before I feel the cushions conforming to his body. He moves closer to me, putting his arm around my shoulder and his hand on my thigh.

"Will you look at me please?" He asks, and even though it pains me, I turn my head to see that he's only a short distance away. "I care about you baby, and I wish I could put it in a way you'll understand. But for now, it's impossible to see him as anything other than the man who slept with my wife."

"But you-"

"I know." He nods, and puts his hand on my stomach. "You are important to me. And I know that if I was in the same room as him I would say or do something stupid." He puts his hand on my cheek and pushes a tear away. "I need you understand that it's better this way."

"I get that, and I'm sorry but..." I stop myself and take a second to breathe. "It seems like you won't even try. You want to fight Marshall I know you do, but you won't even go and give it a shot."

"I don't want to hurt you." He says, rubbing his thumb on my cheek. "You care about him, and that's fine. But I don't want to do something out of anger that I'll regret." He shift closer, our legs touching. "I need you to understand."

I take in a big deep breath and nod. Marshall leans forward and kisses my forehead. He starts to get up but I pull him back down.

"I don't want you to have to give up something you want." I say, taking in a deep breath. "What are you going to do?"

"I already have everything I want." He tells me, placing his hand on my stomach once again. "We won't be here long anyway. We always talked about moving away."

"What are we going to do when the baby comes?" I ask him, remembering the conversation I had with Thatcher the other day. "Where are we going to live?"

"I hadn't thought about it." He shakes his head. "You could move in here."

"Marshall." I say, taking another deep breath. "I love you, and I love this place, but we can't raise a baby here."