Crash Test Dummy

Chapter 11

"Let's shut this down before we're dead. You guys are too shit-faced to play, anyway."

"Says goodie two shoes," Jake slurred.

I waved my beer at him. "I can get a buzz on without getting so pissed I can't shoot straight."

"Chure," he said. "You ain't been here all day."

"Whatever."

We scarfed down the pizza and chugged a liter of coke.

Jake leaned back in the recliner and fell asleep. Marlow was in the wooden desk chair, but he turned sideways and leaned back, following suit.

I shook my head and got a garbage bag. I bagged the bottles, the cigarette butts and pizza box. I fished Jake's keys out of his pocket and let myself out the back gate into the ally. I put the bag of trash in the trunk. There were a couple of boxes in the trunk. I spied a computer monitor in one.

"What the???" I wondered.

Back inside, I shook the guys. "Time to book," I hollered.

Jake let out a snort but didn't even open an eye. Marlow's head rolled off the chair, and he sat up with a jerk.

"Whassup?" He demanded.

"Momz will be here in about 10 minutes. You guys gotta bounce, but Jake is wasted. I can't wake him."

I pulled the lever and lowered the recliner, but Jake just slid forward a little.

"We're going to have to carry him. I'll take the left side, you get the right."

I threw Jake's left arm over my shoulder. Marlow mirrored me on the right. We pulled him up and dragged him outside and through the back gate. We draped him over the hood while I opened the passenger door. We dumped him in the seat.

"I'll take it from here," Marlow said.

I reluctantly gave him the keys. "You're too buzzed to drive."

"I'll sleep it off first," he said. "We'll be good."

I rushed back, locked up F2 and was in my bed reading when Momz got home. Luckily, she was running a few minutes late.

She stopped by my room. "You want to see my wedding dress?" she asked, dangling a dress bag from her finger.

"Isn't showing your dress supposed to be bad luck or something?"

"Only if you show it to the groom." She laughed. "You're my son. You're safe."

"I suppose you're going to make me check it out no matter what I say." I raised my eyebrows and rolled my eyes.

She gave me an impish grin. "Yep." She turned towards her room and swaggered away, calling over her shoulder, "I'm gonna model it for you."

"Momz, I'm not your girlfriend," I hollered.

"I know. All my BFFs saw it already. I want you to see how pretty your Mom can look."

"Geez, Momz. It's bad enough that Jake called you a hot cougar? My friends aren't supposed to think my Momz is eye candy," I finished as Momz reappeared in the door in a cream colored dress. The back of the skirt was longer that the front and the neckline sorta plunged.

"So, your homies think I'm eye candy. I don't have a problem with that as long as they show some respect."

"Get real,. I wondered what she'd think if she knew they called her Wicked. "Isn't it kinda low cut?" I traced my fingers in a V on my chest.

She laughed. "It's not like I'm a virgin or anything. This is my second time around, remember?"

"Yeah. If you were a virgin that'd make me an immaculate conception." I put my finger on my lips and peered at her. "You do look pretty, Momz." I made a shooing motion with my hand. "But I've had about all the bonding I can take. Go talk to Aunt Glory on Skype. She'll oh and ah over your dress. It's noon in Hong Kong. Doesn't her school get American Thanksgiving holidays because the teachers are mostly American?"