Friends Quotes Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men.
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Chandler: You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Phoebe: Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.' Chandler: What are you supporting? Phoebe: Duh!! Christmas!
Ross: I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there. Joey: You could drink the fat. Ross: Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her.... Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter? Rachel: Nooo! Ross: And it works both ways.
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon? Rachel: You're so pretty.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand) Joey: Put your hands together. (smiles)
Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? (Ross gestures his consent.) Joey: Strip joint!
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get? Ross: You guys. Chandler: Oh, God. Joey: You got screwed.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out. Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket. Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake. Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
Chandler: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding. Phoebe: Then I've already seen this one! (turns off the TV)
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb. All: You're kidding. Oh my God. Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent? Joey: Probably kill myself! Monica: ..Excuse me? Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Phoebe: Ooh, wait.. wait, I see a woman. Monica: Please tell me it's his mother. Phoebe: Definitely not his mother. Monica: Oh, no... Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch!
