Loop

1

It begins again.

The green seatbelt sign above him lights up as the gasps grow louder. A couple of babies start to wail and his heart fills with dread. I can't die tonight, he thinks wryly. May stockholders' meeting pa bukas. He peers at the thick grey clouds outside his window and marvels at the strength of the turbulence in the last twenty minutes. He groans, firmly regretting his decision to ride the last flight home despite the warnings from his staff.

Beside him, a brown-haired girl about his age sleeps peacefully, her head half-buried in her pink neck pillow. She remains blissfully indifferent to the growing mayhem around her.

Suddenly the lights dim and the pilot's voice crackles over the speakers. "Ladies and gentlemen, we ask you to stay in your seats and fasten your seatbelts. Keep your seats at the upright position with your tray tables stowed. We will be encountering more turbulence, so please bear with us."

A couple more terrifying bumps hit the plane and he bites his bottom lip, valiantly trying not to cuss. He glances at the sleeping girl beside him and squints his eyes in the faint cabin light. She looked strangely familiar to him -- a trainee of his, perhaps? He's had so many classes these past few months that he could never remember them all. Still, he is impressed by her obliviousness. How some people can just sleep through the noise and fright of turbulence is beyond him. Lucky girl. Had the plane fallen from the skies this very instant, she'd never know the worst of it.

After what seems like a torturous eternity, the lights come back on and the plane quietly drifts into calmer territory. The babies have now stopped wailing. An uncertain hush falls upon the passengers as they try to regain their composure.

He lets out a loud exhale and relaxes into his seat. Beside him, the girl slowly awakens. "Morning," she croaks. He turns and meets her big, brown eyes.

A thousand butterflies explode in his chest.

Those eyes. He swears he's seen them before, but he cannot remember where or when. In the midst of all the chaos, he finds himself utterly transfixed by those eyes, those lashes, and those lips. He closes his eyes for a moment and inhales the air that lingers around her. Vanilla and lemon -- this is a scent he knows so well, but does not know how or why. He remembers her and can't place her at the same time.

She is saying something -- her lips are moving -- but he hears nothing. He knows those lips but the exact memory escapes him. The lips begin to form a smile, and now he swears he's seen that smile before. She sits up, peels off her neck pillow, and proceeds to fix her hair. As she gathers it up in a high bun, she exposes her lovely caramel-colored neck and shoulders, teasing him with a certain sense of deja vu. Somehow, he knows there is a mole on her lower back though he does not see it. His heart, however, is painfully sure of it. He grips his armrests and leans back into his chair -- it is all he can to do stop himself from kissing the expanse of skin that is suddenly all-too familiar to him.

He studies her lithe hands tying her hair and sees a ring around her finger. A yellow diamond in its center sparkles in the dim cabin light -- an engagement ring. Strangely enough, he feels as if he knows this for a fact. He knows how much it cost. He even knows it was given in the midst of winter.

Somehow he knows all of this but does not remember. He does not know her name or her face. He does not know her at all.

"You OK?" she asks over her shoulder.

He nods as he continues to watch her tie her hair. He has never met or even seen her before -- that he is sure of. He scans his memory again. Is she someone he met at a corporate event? A friend of a friend? An old classmate from Laguna?

She relaxes back into her seat, gives him another heart-stopping smile, and gently adjusts her diamond ring. "So binabasa mo ulit?"

He frowns, unaware of what she is referring to.

She gestures to a hardbound book inserted in the front pocket across his chair. "The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea," she points out. "Alam mo, I've always wondered bakit ganun ang title ng book."

"Um...well, the author is a big Carpenters fan. Parang lyric ata nila..." He pauses, sudddnly unsure of his own actions. Why am I even explaining things to her? None of this was making sense.

"Aha! That's why it's familiar." She hums a tune he doesn't recognize. "Alam mo naman favorite ni Tatay yung Carpenters."

"Tatay?"

She smiles and playfully punches his arm. "Hala ka, nakalimutan mo. Lagot ka," she says. "Anyway, since you've read that book like a hundred times already, tell me about it."

Tatay? Carpenters? But I've only started reading the book! What the hell was going on? Yet before he can stop himself, he finds himself answering her question. "Well, it talks about mga choices mo and how they impact everything else... that if you could do things all over again, the best choices are actually the same as the ones you made before ..."

"The best choices are the same ones you made before," she echoes wistfully as she leans closer, her vanilla and lemon scent intoxicating him, triggering an uncertain sense of nostalgia he cannot place.

A thousand incomprehensible thoughts race through his head, yet before he can even begin to make any sense, he finds himself leaning into her and kissing her with inexplicable desperation. It feels utterly familiar and utterly new at the same time. Waves of confusion flood his system but everything feels...right. Somehow, this kiss is something he needs. It is something he knows. It is something he has done a thousand times before.

She slowly peels her lips from his, leaving him lost but wanting. Now he is torn between wanting to kiss her again and wanting to find out what the hell was going on.

She leans closer and brings her lips to his ear.

"Find me," she whispers.

The plane suddenly hits another invisible bump, eliciting gasps from terrified passengers behind him. He closes his eyes as he strains to hear the rest of her words.

"...and choose me again."

A horrible feeling of impending doom floods his senses. The lights in the plane begin to flicker once again.

Dark. Light. Dark. Light.

Dark.