Walking the stairs, without being told to, I have to get out of the view of the judging eyes. Pink, green, blue, purple, red, yellow, each step is one closer to that freedom. Once reaching the top, I know where the bathroom is, I know where Zoe's room is, but I have no idea which one is Gabe's. So, I wait for him to follow.
I can hear that people are in these rooms. Just as I was about to step in the bathroom, Gabe comes walking up the stairs. His eyes are soft, I have no doubt he was scolded for bringing me back here, maybe by all the people down stairs. But, right now, his eyes tells me he doesn't care in the least. His smile makes me feel like I am the only person in the world—to him. He would do anything to keep me safe.
"This way..." He steps to the door just to our left and opens the door. Just like Zoe's room there are two sets of bunk beds on either side of the room. "That's mine." He points to the bottom bunk on the right side. His bed is the only one made.
I sit on the bed and pull my boots off, pushing them under his bed. I look at pictures on the wall above his pillow. They are push pinned into a cork board. "Are all of these pictures you took?" Gabe sat beside me on the edge of the bed. His arm came up behind me, leaning towards the wall, he put his finger on one. His chest pushes against my shoulder and I can feel the strength in him. "That is the reef." His mouth is so close to me, I can feel the warmth of his breath on the side of my face. "This one, I took it in the Caribbean. That's where I learned to Scuba Dive—where I feel in love with it." His cologne mixes with the smell of the ocean wind, and the stink of the Cave. I look at each picture, closely. He has lived an adventurous life. I see the edge of a picture, he has put another over. I grab the push pin and remove it, to expose the picture behind it.
Gabe sat up straight, no longer touching me at all. I know he doesn't want me to see the picture he has hidden, which makes me want to see it even more. I put the picture of him on a boat behind the hidden one to see him and a tall red headed lady, both in bathing suits, holding each other on the ocean.
"You and Jade?" I ask feeling extremely uncomfortable—wishing I had kept my nose in my own business. Gabe stood and slid out of his jacket and pulled the white shirt out of the waist of his pants. A small part of his stomach flashed, tan and smooth looking.
"No, it is Gem, Jades sister." Gabe hangs his jacket on a hanger and doesn't look at me for a long minute. Looking closer, I can see the small differences between them. "Are they twins?" I ask. "No, Gem was the younger sister." I notice the word was and I know something bad has happened to her. I work up the courage to ask what it was as I watch him strip down to a pair of boxers and put on a pair of shorts. His chest is smooth, unlike Jacob, I see no tattoos or scars of any kind. He smiles when he catches me staring, just before pulling a black T-shirt over his body.
"What happened?" I ask making my eyes go back to him and Gem.
He lays on the twin bed, stretching out behind me. His legs are still hanging off the side. I turn to face him, with my legs crisscrossed, my knee touches his chest. "We were engaged. We were getting married the summer that picture was taken. She was pregnant in that picture." I look at the picture again and, because he said so, I can see the small bulge in her belly. "We went to the Bahama's. We wanted one more get away before the baby came." He looked at the picture again. "She lost the baby while we were there. She hadn't done anything to cause it, it just happened. We spent three days in the hospital there, then came straight home, cutting our trip short by four days. The doctor said, it would have happened no matter where we were, but she still blamed herself." Gabe laid on his back and pulled his arms under his head. His eyes grew glassy as he stared at the bottom of the bunk bed above us. "Two months later, I came home from a long work weekend on the reef and Jade told me she had over dosed on drugs. They found so many drugs in her system they are not sure which one did it, but she fell asleep and never woke up." Gabe let a deep breath escape his lungs, as if he was glad to get it out. "It wasn't suicide. She didn't mean to take too much, she simply wanted to feel numb, and nothing would do it."
"Is that the secret?" I ask looking at Gem in the picture. "Drugs? Is that what you all do in this house?" I steady myself for the answer. If it is yes, I have to leave and never come back. "No." He laughs. "Gem was a drug addict before we met. When we got together, she was clean for almost two years before she died. Jade and I didn't know, at first, that she had went back to drugs after we lost the baby. I caught her, outside on the porch one night, shooting up. I tried to help her. Jade did too. She was in too much pain." Gabe shook his head. I can see him fighting the tears. I look away. I put the picture back on the cork board, leaving Gem to look at us.
"You loved her a lot, didn't you?" Not knowing what to do with my hands, I rub my arms as if I am cold.
"Yes. More than anything in this world. It has been two years." His hand grabs mine and gives it a squeeze. "You are the first woman I have seen in a very long time."
"Why?" I ask, knowing he means that no other woman has gotten his attention since Gem.
"You are beautiful. You are strong. You are a survivor." Gabe says, as if he really knows me.
"No, you really don't know me, Gabe. I'm afraid I will be a huge disappointment."
The door to Gabe's room opens, and Gabe lets out a long sigh. "Hey Marcus." Gabe says sitting up on the edge of the bed. Marcus flashes a wide smile as his eyes examine me. He raises an eyebrow and closes the door behind him. "Well, you have company." Marcus pulls his shirt over his head and throws it in the floor.
I look away as Marcus strips down to his boxers and changes clothes. "I am going to bed, so keep it quit." Marcus says as he climbs into the bottom bunk across from us. Neither of us bother to respond.
Gabe's eyes apologize as he stands and opens the closet. Pulling out two blankets and a pillow, he makes a small, very uncomfortable looking pallet on the floor beside me. "Are you sure about this?" I ask as he pulls the blanket he is using for cover up to his waist. I feel guilty for taking his bed. "Positive." He smiles.
I pull the blanket down, still in my jeans and a T-shirt, and stretch my body out under the cool sheet. My eyes begin to get heavy almost instantly. I haven't been this comfortable in a very long time. Marcus cuts out the overhead light. The small lamp in the corner of the room gives just enough light to see the outline of Gabe's face. "Thank you, Gabe." I whisper. "Not only for the bed, but for letting me get to know you." I know how hard it is to share something so personal with a person you barely know. I pushed him into it by messing.
"Thank you." He said, reaching up for my hand. I give it to him. He squeezes it, lingering for several seconds, before letting go. I can see his smile, even in the dark.
Untitled Part 6
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