I'm going to start by saying my life is a mess right now.
I'm also going to leave this open because I don't know when I'll rant to the three of you that actually read this.
I'm pissed off. I can't tell you why because that means I would have to have let you into my life.
Do you know how hard it is to be a teen? You have an opinion on a lot of things that you can't change. nobody cares about your opinion or how you feel. I feel like were all just rats running in a maze and there's no exit.
I'm sad, Again, I can't tell you why because that means I would have to have let you into my life.
Do you ever feel like you get replaced? where are your 'friends' when you need them? Forget need what about when you want them around? I understand I like to be alone most of the time, but what about the rest? Am I just a nobody after all? yes. my little opinion and pathetic life is nothing in this world of approximately 7.3 billion people.
so again I don't matter to anyone.
My life has no meaning.
I'm a loser.
I'm at the point where I'm starting over. I have no 'friends'. No story. Nothing that would make this little maze more fun. There's no point in therapy or anything else. I bet I'll get over 50 texts and calls from my 'friends' now. I'll go on the Church trips and the amusement park trips to keep everyone happy but deep deep down I know you all hate the fact I asked.
Who am I to ask for some love in this world we live in?
I know you get sick of me wanting YOUR attention. I'm sorry I just never had a friend like you and I thought you would like this maybe I'm wrong. I wont do it again.
Now this is where you say: "You need mental help. you have no self-esteem."
Trust me I know this all to well.
since I was 6 I believe I've been like this.
If you have read this I'm sorry for the emotion but I think the three of you might relate even just little.
I might be back but for now I'm deleting all of the drafts to my unpublished stories.
It was nice knowing you.
Peyton
