Ma Vhenan My Ass

Dear Diary

9:44 Dragon

I have been having this dream over and over. The first nights I saw an opportunity.

'If I just dreamt long enough, I can convince him to doubt his insane plan,' I thought. 

No response came from the heartless man when I pleaded  or tried to persuade the man with a head that has similar features to an egg.

The goddamn repetitive dream is tiresome and isn't helping with my vacation from the 'disbanded' inquisition. I can't talk to anyone about it because they'll think I'm even crazier than I already am. Therefore, I write all my lovely feelings and thoughts on this leather journal I bought in a market. It was only two gold, BARGAIN! The poor shopkeeper doesn't even know what he lost, bet he's crying over that decision more than he should. 

But I'm rambling aren't I? So to spare you, I shall get to point. Ever since I saw 'him' again, I have forgotten the feeling what it feels like to have a left arm and the feeling of being loved. This selfish fade-walker has been visiting me in my dreams, the worst place you would want to see your ex-lover. These dreams show him in the form of a wolf watching me, wanting me; and before I even get the chance to speak my mind...

I wake up into the world that I saved and soon in need to be saved again.

~*~

"LASS! TIME TO HUNT! YOU CAN CONTINUE TO WRITE YOUR FEELINGS ON A PIECE OF PAPER ANOTHER TIME!!!" I chuckle from my dear baby brother Toross's scream and continue to write my life on a piece of paper.

~*~

Three months since I told the exalted council to bite my ass, threw the "inquisition of the old" book in the air and swept out of the room as I brandished my favorite finger (you all know what finger I'm talking about) in the air. Left the whole room aghast, except for Cassandra and Leliana; my previous rants prepared them for my grand exit. 

So here starts the new age; without a Dalish elf holding the world's hand, protecting it from certain doom. My companions and advisors have taken a vacation from heroics and begun living normal lives. 

Except for Leliana since she's the Divine, she's off deciding the fate of  half of Thedas. At least Leliana it's only half. Not to sound like a brat or anything, but I had the weight of all of Thedas on my shoulders. 

I told them that I will contact them when the world is in ass-deep trouble again. The time will come again for another hero; I might not be that savior, however, the next unlucky one would need all the help he/she can get. 

~*~

I close my leather journal and put away my quill. Thoughts of work and recruitment quickly disappear since now I have my own life to worry about. I now live the life of a boring and simple Dalish elf. I exit the Aravel and take in the fresh, cool air of the forest where the trees are nothing more than nature's grand towers that could be taller than my own fortress Skyhold. Before I could reminisce about the great times spent in my second home, amidst the crowd of hard-working elves maintaining the camp; I notice Toross. He stands impatiently, tapping his foot to exaggerate the time we've wasted that could've been spent on hunting.

"Creators Lass! By the time you're ready for a hunt, all the animals will become extinct!" Toross exclaims with both arms waving like a mad man and his foot taps at a faster pace than before.  

"ir abelas, I was too busy 'writing my life down a piece of paper,'" I laugh after I quoted my brother's words. He dismissively waves his hand towards himself and mumbles something while he walks into the lush forest. After all the death I've experienced and the hardship my clan went through, dumb luck has allowed both my parents and brother to be alive. I could just stand here, watching time move ahead of me, thinking about how grateful I am to have my family. But unless if I want my brother to pierce my eye with an arrow, I save the deep thoughts for bedtime and run after Toross deep into the forest.

I am consumed by the forest as I run further and further from the camp to find my brother off punching a bear or whatnot. I change my pace and walk slowly, observing every little detail in this forest...

While I look for my brother of course. 

The sun's rays shine bright, almost blinding through the trees, slightly kissing my tanned skin and sharing its warmth with me. The native birds sing so softly it aches. The moments I treasure the most, while I had two arms, was were when I explored the Emerald Graves. Even though I always brought people who had a tendency to complain: 

Dorian, Sera, Vivienne and OH MYTHAL! Don't even get me started with Varric! I swear that man complained as soon as he could open his mouth. Despite the whiny companions, I still enjoyed sleeping under the dazzling stars, than sleeping under a stone, cold roof. It's just the Dalish in me, I guess.

~ * ~

I walk to the spot where most the hunters meet. Where they sharpen their weapons, do whatever the hell they do to their bows (I'm not an archer as you can tell) or gloat about their previous hunts. The place is bustling and productive as the camp site is. I jog over the group of hunters that I pray they'll know where Toross has run off to. "Aneth ara, have any of you seen where Toross have been?" I ask in a rushed manner, heavily breathing; finding your impatient brother in a forest is tiresome. The group all look at each other questionly. Not knowing where Toross is, all shrug, shake their heads and say "no." 

"Helpful bastards," I mutter under my breath. I blow my hair out of my face and walk away from the group. I jog through the never-ending forest, my only hand near my mouth and scream, " TOROSS! TOOOOOOORRRROOOOOSSSS!" 

Not one damn response. I huff in frustration and give up on finding my brother. I sit down and rest my staff on a root of a gianormus tree. "Where the hell is he?" Asking myself,  looking around the area, "Let's hope I won't be searching the whole forest just to find him stuck in a ditch somewhere." I turn my head around, being hopeful in spotting Toross. The minute I stand on my feet, a girlish scream I know too well suddenly appears and disturbs the peaceful forest, "HELP! LASS! ANYONE! HELP!"

Ghilan'nain's ass Toross, always getting into trouble

My head and snaps to the direction where the scream came from, swiftly I grab my staff and run as fast as my little elf legs can. Focusing on saving my brother, I dodge every branch, root, rock and animal that could trip or stop me. The screams are louder than ever as I come to a cliff where I see a ugly, revolting, giant; shielding itself from arrows that are bare grazing its skin. My eyes widen and I tighten my grip on my staff as I look below and see my terrified brother, one giant's stomp away from death, shooting the arrows. 

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HELLO! I FOUND OUT THAT THERE'S WIFI WHERE I'M STAYING SO HERE'S THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY VHENAN MY ASS! YAYYAYAYAY *confetti*

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and pls, if I have made any stupid mistakes, let me know. 

OK BYE! I'M GOING TO ENJOY THE BEACH WHILE YOU GUYS (hopefull) vote, comment about this story and share it with all your Dragon age friends!!!!!

- Paula-rose45