Just Acting /Jaylos

Please, Don't Say Those Words

   "God, Carlos. I trusted you! I thought I was helping you out; protecting you in some way, but you were just using me this whole time? Have you even been telling the truth?" Jay had so many questions, so many emotions, because out of all people, he did not expect Carlos to be the one to use him, just like every other person had back on the Isle.

"Oh, that's so not fair!" Carlos shouted, laughing angrily as he clenched his hands by his sides.

"What's not fair? Care to elaborate, C?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm, but the fact that Carlos was laughing pissed him the hell off.

"Don't act like you're mister perfect. You've been using me just as much as I've been using you."

"I'm sorry, what?" Jay's voice drops low. His eyes lower and he takes a dangerous step forward, bewildered by Carlos' accusation.

Carlos knew that had been the wrong thing to say. It had definitely been the wrong thing to say, because he wasn't even positive Jay had been using him, and god if he was wrong, he was in for one hell of an argument.

"Yeah, Jay." Carlos laughs again, and he's not sure why, because none of this is remotely funny, but he just can't stop. "I'm not the one who initiates make out sessions when there's no one around. The whole point of this stupid thing was for everyone else to see us. So tell me, Jay. What was the point of manhandling me in a closet, where no one can see us? Aside for your own personal enjoyment, What. Was. The. Fucking. Point?"

Carlos doesn't know why he's letting himself yell at Jay. He doesn't know why he let this turn into a fight. It didn't surprise him, because everything turned into a fight with them, but he had hoped that maybe this time it would be different.

"Fuck you, Carlos," Jay growls after a quick beat, and Carlos wants to feel threatened, wants to stop this before it gets more out of hand, but his damn mouth couldn't stay shut, no matter how hard he tried.

"Oh yeah, fuck me." Carlos laughed, "You're just bitchy because I caught you and you can't defend yourself." When Jay doesn't respond immediately, Carlos laughs again, loud and twisted; tainted with anger.

The tension in the air only seemed to get thicker. The two of them were circling each other, as if preparing to pounce with fists at any moment. Carlos didn't want to fight. Jay didn't want to fight, either. But that was the thing about Carlos. Once you got him going, he couldn't stop, he never could, and Jay wished that he could learn to not respond when Carlos got the way he did.

Jay wonders how this happened. How Carlos managed to turn this on him; managed to paint him as the villain and blame him when Carlos had been the one lying the entire time. It hits him, then, as he watches Carlos laugh, concentrates on the way Carlos' eyes are wide, filled with the same dark laughter flowing from his mouth. The way Carlos won't stop yelling for the death of him and is pushing the blame away from him. He's his mother. In the way he walks, the way he laughs at things that should never be laughed at, and all the yelling and the need to always put someone down in order to feel superior, all Jay saw was Cruella. He knows it's not Carlos' fault, she is the one who raised him after all. Once he realizes it, this similarity, he wants to use it against Carlos. To yell it right in his face, and tell him the one thing he never wanted to hear, that he was his mother. Then Jay would win this fight. But he'd also lose something—someone— else, too. It doesn't stop him from contemplating it, though.

Jay knew he was a shitty person. But not that shitty, at least not today. So, instead of taking those words that could do so much damage to the already broken boy in front of him, he bites his tongue and forces the demons inside his head screaming at him to just fucking say it, far away. This arguing was going to get them nowhere, and he knew if someone was to stop the fight, it would have to be himself.