Blue Plaid

Unsure

Gaping, I reached out to gather the toddler into my arms, my eyes wide with fear. "Why do I have to do it?"

"Because I'm not the one who decided to sleep in, lazy ass," she replied triumphantly, dusting her palms on her thighs before pushing herself to her feet. "I did the work this morning, you gotta do it now."

Wincing, I nodded as I stood slowly, holding Cooper gently as though I was afraid he would break. "Could I at least get some coaching?"

"Like I would really miss the chance to watch you try to change a diaper," she remarked, nodding towards the stairs. "Let's go, hot shot."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I muttered bitterly as I carried Cooper up the stairs to the nursery, holding him at a slight distance to avoid the smell emanating from his lower half.

My disgust wasn't exclusive to babies. In general, I hated other people's bodily fluids. All it took was for one person to slice themselves with a knife at the restaurant and I would feel queasy for the rest of the day.

"I've never seen you squirm before, Kingsley," she replied with far too much amusement in her tone. "You're usually the picture of calm, cool, and collected. This is extremely entertaining."

I rolled my eyes as we entered the nursery and I lay Cooper down on the changing table attached to the wall. Taking in a deep breath, I carefully lifted Cooper's t-shirt to reveal the top of the diaper, shooting Stella a dirty glare when I heard her giggle. Deciding I would approach the situation like ripping off a bandage – that is to say, I wanted it to be over as fast as possible – I ripped off the side tabs and lowered the front, cringing at the mess below. Holding my breath, I quickly grabbed a handful of baby wipes from a nearby container, wiped down Cooper's bum, doused him with baby powder, and switched out his diaper as fast as possible.

I finally let out the breath in relief when the tabs of the clean diaper were securely fastened on top of his waist. Smiling triumphantly, I turned to look at Stella, who was staring at me, wide eyed.

"Damn, Kingsley," she commented. "You're good."

"You don't have to sound so surprised," I laughed, inwardly grateful that she couldn't tell that I actually had no idea what I was doing. To be honest, the entire time, I was racking my brain in hopes that I'd remember watching Eric change a diaper and then I'd just kind of made up the rest. In fact, I was pretty sure the diaper was actually on backwards.

But Stella didn't need to know that. She had enough ammunition against me without finding out that my diaper changing skills were subpar.

She shrugged. "I suppose you had to be good at something besides chopping things."

I rolled my eyes, lifting Cooper from the table and placing him in the play pen in the center of the room. He plopped happily to the floor and began to stack brightly colored blocks atop each other.

"Are you afraid you'll spontaneously combust if you give me a sincere compliment?" I asked, turning back to face her.

"Maybe," she deadpanned. "Better not risk it."

Despite her stubbornness, I found myself holding back laughter, so I quickly busied myself with studying the nursery. The walls were painted a pale green, decorated with various doodles of jungle creatures, which actually looked rather creepy, if I was being honest.

"I never realized how gigantic this house is," I commented, bringing my gaze back to Stella.

She seemed surprised by the sudden change in subject, tugging on the end of her ponytail while simultaneously pulling down the front of her cap to cover her raised eyebrows. "I know. The upkeep is going to be a pain in the ass."